I ignore his question and the rude way he asked it and pause with my hand on the door handle, watching Tucker spin around and stroke a soft hand over Blake’s head. Truthfully, I’m unsure how to introduce Emmett for fear of putting the wrong label on us. Calling him a friend would be an injustice to how much he means to me, even if I just gave Emmett a route out of my life.
Emmett’s knuckles tighten around her car seat as Tucker straightens in front of him, offering out a hand for him to take.
Like I did a second earlier, Emmett completely ignores Tucker, eyes back on mine. He’s waiting on my instruction, and I get the feeling that he would do anything I asked of him.
I focus back on my ex. “To talk about what specifically?”
Tucker turns back to me, a confident smile overtaking his face. There’s no way he can’t pick up on the charged atmosphere or the fact that a towering hockey player is around two seconds from taking him out. That said, sports were never really his thing, so it’s likely he doesn’t recognize who Emmett is.
Thumbing behind him, he confirms my thoughts when he says, “How about we take this inside and away from the Terminator?”
If this whole situation wasn’t so fucked up, I’d be tempted to laugh at the accuracy in Tucker’s observations—Emmett’s looming stature would intimidate me, too, if I were a first-rate asshole.
Unlocking my apartment door, I push it open and stand to one side, and Tucker enters without a beat of hesitation.
He releases a low whistle as he takes in my home. “Wow, Billie, this place is”—he scratches the back of his neck, cringing on my behalf—“pretty fucking terrible.”
When Emmett takes a purposeful step forward, I move back into the doorway, preventing him from doing—or saying—something that I know would do neither him nor his hockey career any good.
Reaching out, I wrap my hand around the handle on Blake’s car seat, summoning my best reassuring smile. “I got it. It’s okay.”
He knows what I’m asking, and even if his leaving is the last thing I truly want, the cold reality is, Tucker is right. None of this has anything to do with Emmett, and he has no place being a part of our conversation.
He presses his lips together, and his thumb brushes along the outside of my hand before he releases his hold on Blake’s seat.
“I’m going for a walk, and I won’t be any more than a few blocks away. My phone will be on loud, and my car will remain parked outside.”
My forced smile is all the confirmation he needs, and he moves to leave, turning over his shoulder to look at me until the door closes behind him.
“I know he isn’t your dad.” Tucker gets straight into it, taking the steps up to my kitchen.
His eyes are full of mirth as he moves to sit at the small island, waving a friendly hand at my daughter as I set her car seat on the floor by the door and lift her into my arms.
“But he sure as shit looks old enough to be him.” He snickers, folding his arms across his chest.
“He’s a family friend.”
He narrows his eyes at me, suspicion reminiscent of Maria. “Okay, well, if he isn’t your boyfriend, then I guess I’m good to press on with what I came here to say.”
It’s not lost on me that Tucker hasn’t once asked to hold his daughter; it’s the kind of detached behavior I witnessed repeatedly from his parents toward him.
“Do you want to hold Blake?” I offer, stepping into the kitchen.
He shifts on the stool, clearing his throat as he does. “I’ve never held a baby before, and I don’t want to hurt her.”
Neither had I until I gave birth.
For the sake of our daughter, I force a sweet smile, taking a seat on the opposite side of the island.
Blake wriggles in my arms, a hungry whimper leaving her lips.
If the atmosphere wasn’t awkward before, it sure as shit is the second I unclip my feeding bra, exposing a breast for Blake to latch on.
Tucker doesn’t know where to put his eyes, and I can’t deny the way his discomfort bolsters my confidence. Six months ago, he was my senior, yet today, it feels like I’ve gained the strength of a thousand lifetimes in his absence.
I keep my eyes locked on Blake’s, determined to force Tucker to lead the conversation. After all, he’s the one who made the trip to be here.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks.”
