“All what?” Dane looked confused and glanced between Tiana and I.
I shrugged as Tiana lifted her arms to Tanner. He picked her up, and her legs wrapped around his waist. Sighing, I wasn’t sure how to answer. Though I’d struggled with being part of a throuple, it wasn’t that strange of a lifestyle. So what the heck was my problem?
“All the rules and guidelines and submission stuff.”
Dane and Tanner exchanged a glance. My brother rubbed his chin. “I’m not entirely sure how to put this into words, but I’m going to try. You remember your relationship with Adrian?”
I took a few deep breaths, and let them out. I hated where this was going, but I humored my brother. Adrian Carter had been the most serious relationship in my life. We’d broken up because my parents carted the family away to Europe. Dane and Tiana weren’t the only ones who’d wound up hurt from that decision. It left my brother and I heartsick on top of trying to manage an enterprise with very little experience. “Yeah. Of course I do.”
“Well, I haven’t seen you this happy or fulfilled since then. You wouldn’t take my advice previously, but you seem to be waymore balanced than you have been in many years. Whatever Reed and Kingston are doing? I’d say it’s the right thing.”
My brother didn’t know everything that I wanted but he was spot-on. I hated to acknowledge that he was right, but he was. Of course he was.
We finished up in the stable and headed to the house. Tiana had her arms linked around Tanner’s neck and she made funny faces at me.
“I have a lot of triggers, Dane. I have lots of self-worth and self-esteem bullshit that’s stuck in my head.”
“You know what works wonders for emotions trapped in your head and your tummy?” Tiana asked sweetly.
“Don’t say it.”
She giggled. “I wasn’t going to say a spanking. Even though it does help. Having someone else hold you accountable and create structure while raining down love and affection on you? That’s better than anything physical. There’s nothing in the whole world that’s better than being in between my Daddies. They make me feel like the most special girl!”
“That’s because you are the most special girl, buttercup.” Tanner nuzzled her temple.
“I’m overthinking again,” I said. “I have big feelings for both of them and yet sometimes I feel like we barely know each other.”
We walked through the back door into the mudroom.
“Boots off,” Dane reminded as he set to taking Tiana’s off for her.
He kissed her cheek and she looked at him adoringly. I loved the way he loved her. I could only hope for that kind of love in my life. Tanner tapped my foot with his boot. I sat down on the bench and he took mine off. It was a simple gesture that made me feel cherished. He was gruff on the outside, but he loved taking care of others, especially my brother.
“Thanks, Tanner. I’m not trying to burden you with my relationship stuff. It’s private.”
“I don’t think anything about you is a burden, spitfire. Let’s play a game. We’ll talk more.”
“Chutes and Ladders?” Tiana asked happily.
“I was thinking more like Scrabble.”
“I don’t think you know enough big words to play,” she teased, waggling her eyebrows at Tanner. He swatted her ass and she went running into the kitchen.
“You’re in for it, brat!”
He went after her, but it was all in good fun. That’s what I wanted. An easy, fun interaction, one that I didn’t overthink. Dane hugged me tightly.
“Talk to your boyfriends, Eli. Let them know what’s on your mind.”
“I have a meeting with Grant tomorrow. I’ve been spiraling because I’ve been working a lot. More than a lot. And everyone has commented on it, especially my… boyfriends.” I’d almost said Daddies, but thought better of it at the last minute.
“You don’t have to hide things. You can refer to King and Reed as whatever your heart desires. I’m not going to judge you. Do you know that?”
“Drew might judge me.”
Dane snorted. “You really think so?”
“He doesn’t understand the lifestyle at all. I couldn’t possibly explain it to him.”
