“Come on, spitfire,” Drew said softly, using my nickname. “We only want what’s best for you.”
I sighed, shaking my head. “This isn’t about me right now; it's about the car. Will one of you just tell me what to do? The thought of making one more decision is overwhelming.”
They both stared at me, and I knew why. It wasn’t like me to lean on other people. They knew I frequentedCreekside Loungebut they didn’t know what I needed in my life. I didn’t open up to my brothers about my kinky needs or wants whether it was in the bedroom or in general. Though Dane had a dominant and submissive relationship with his boyfriend and girlfriend, I wasn’t sure Drew understood any of it.
Deep down, I longed for a Daddy Dom of my own. Someone to love me, spoil and cherish me. Not with materialistic things, I could afford mostly anything I wanted, but affection. Spoil me with attention. Spoil me wholly and completely like a princess without being condescending or judging me. That Kingston had carried me to bed last night and tucked me in like I was something precious wasn’t lost on me. It had been surprising for Reed to threaten to spank me, but when King acted like the sort of Daddy I’d always wanted, my thoughts went spiraling. Many of our friends were in three-person relationships— throuples—and though I’d never thought about it much before, the appeal was there.
Drew tapped his fingers on my upper arm. “Look at me, Eli.”
“Yeah?”
“When you get into your car to drive, what’s the first thing you do?”
My older brother had a better insight into the sorts of things I needed than I thought he did. I didn’t want to answer him, but I knew where this conversation was going. “I think about how much I hate it.”
“Right. And why do you hate it?”
“It doesn’t feel like me anymore. I’ve taken good care of it… well no. I’ve barely done the minimum amount of maintenance lately. She looks good on the outside but–” My lower lip wobbled.
Shit.My brother was smart. He was peeling back the layers and getting to the heart of the matter—both about my car and myself.
“So, tell me something, spitfire. If you fix her, will she make you happy again? Or do you think that this car was given to you at a time in your life where you could actually have made your own decisions, but instead other people made those decisionsfor you without any concern for what you wanted or what was best for you?”
I shot a look at Dane who crossed his arms over his chest. No help there.
“I hated this car the moment I sat down behind the wheel. She’s a good car, but I loathed her. Mom and Dad picked out what they wanted, like they always have. They give me material items to keep me in line. Something flashy for their little princess to drive to show off their money. I wasn’t in a position to stand up to them, and it’s been a convenient excuse to just keep with the status quo. I don’t mind other people making decisions for me when they have earned my trust.”
Drew nodded. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Let the shop buy your car. When you go home, think about what style would make you happy. Something practical for the harsh winters and the crappy dirt roads that make up most of this town. Regardless of the needed features, I want you to figure out what kind of car makes Eli happy. Will you do that?”
“I can’t survive in this town without reliable transportation. I don’t have a horse like most of our friends.”
“Drop the excuses. We’ll get you where you need to go, Eli,” Dane offered for both of them. “You can stay with me if you want. I’ve got plenty of horses too.”
There were plenty of rooms to choose from as well as horses, but staying with my brother and his partners would make me feel worse. Like a fourth wheel.
“It would be almost an hour via horseback to get to my job.”
“It’s still an option,” he mused. “Everything will fall into place. We’ll help you.”
Dane kissed the crown of my head and I smiled despite my frustration. I’d always been closer to him growing up. His gentle insistence and handling of the parts of me that I didn’ttalk about had me nodding in agreement. My brothers were both wonderful. They seemed to have set their own baggage and issues aside to help me. I wondered if they realized how woefully off-balance I’d become.
“Yeah, okay.” I acquiesced to the decision with a sigh.
After settling the paperwork, I opted to get a ride home with Drew. I had questions but he kept batting away my subtle inquiries. We sat in comfortable silence. Dane and I were practically twins but Drew, being older, was pushed to do more and from a younger age. “I want to talk about things,” I said as the silence that had been peaceful a few minutes ago turned deafening. I had too much on my mind.
“We aren’t getting into big topics right now, spitfire,” he said sternly. His hazel eyes weren’t sparkling like they used to. Stress and overworking was taking a toll on him too.
“You’re no fun! We should talk about you leaving the company. It’s really sudden. Or it feels like it is.” Maybe he had been contemplating it long before Dane and I left.
“I’ve heard that before.”
“Is Dad mad at you?” I couldn’t think of why that would bother him. Our father led with an iron fist in all things, it wasn’t out of left field that he added pressure to Dane when I resigned.
“No, Eli. He’s disappointed. Mom is furious. Let’s talk about something else.”
