My age. He married Victoria when he was my age. The thought is strange, disorienting. Sometimes I forget that he’s ten years older. Ten years ago at my age he was marrying someone else and planning a life with her. I shove down the feeling of jealousy.
“We had Chloe a few years later,” Theo continues. “Which wasn’t exactly planned, but I always wanted to be a dad. I was happy about it, excited. But I was also working insane hours, and Victoria felt stuck with a baby.”
“That sounds hard,” I say. “For both of you.”
“It was.” He finally picks up his wine and takes a long drink. “And Victoria struggled with motherhood. I would never say that about her except that she openly says it about that time period. She loved Chloe, but the diapers and the feeding and the constant attention a baby needs... she resented it. Resented me for not being there more. Resented Chloe sometimes.”
“That must have been awful for everyone,” I say quietly. “Iget it though. I think that’s probably something a lot of women feel if they aren’t getting support.”
He nods. “Exactly. I see now, looking back, how I should have been more present. It wasn’t for lack of trying—I spent every free second I could with them. But those first years of the restaurant were brutal, and I was stretched so thin I barely knew which way was up.” He takes another sip of wine. “So I don’t resent her for that part. Not that at all.” His jaw tightens slightly. “Just the other stuff.”
I nod, taking a sip of wine.
“We argued constantly. About money, about how our life wasn’t what she’d imagined when she said yes to marrying me. Then Victoria met someone else,” he says. “A guy from Seattle. Wealthy, successful. She had an affair. And when she told me...” He shakes his head slowly. “She didn’t apologize. She just said she’d made her choice. She was leaving. She wanted minimal custody. She chose him over our daughter without a moment of hesitation.”
My chest goes cold. I think about Chloe, sweet funny brilliant Chloe who lights up like a Christmas tree whenever her mom shows up. Who was so little when her mother decided she wasn’t worth staying for.
“The affair was bad enough,” Theo continues. “We were both young and unhappy and I wasn’t giving her what she needed. I’m not saying it wasokay, but I could have understood it. Tried to work through it, maybe, for Chloe’s sake.” He looks up at me. “But the way she walked away from our daughter. How easily she did it. Like Chloe was just an inconvenience she was happy to leave behind. That I couldn’t forgive.”
I set down my glass and reach across the island to take his hand. He squeezes my fingers and holds on tight. “I’m sorry,” I say, because there’s nothing else to say. “I’m sorry she did that to you. To both of you.”
“It was a long time ago,” Theo shrugs. “I’ve made peace withit. What matters now is protecting Chloe, and making sure she feels loved and secure.”
I nod, but my mind drifts back to this afternoon, to the pickup line, to the way Chloe transformed when she saw her mom walking toward her across the parking lot. The joy and excitement on her face, and on Victoria’s too. Despite her faults, it’s clear she does love her daughter. I wonder how much she regrets how she acted all those years ago.
And then another thought comes, unwelcome and uncomfortable. What if Victoria wants to be more involved, wants to be a real mom to Chloe in a way she wasn’t before? Maybe those early years were hard, maybe she wasn’t ready, but people grow. People change. What if this visit is Victoria’s attempt to make things right, to be the mother Chloe deserves? What if that’s actuallygoodfor Chloe?
And what if me being in the picture makes that harder somehow?
The thought is ridiculous, and Iknowit’s ridiculous. Theo loves me. Victoria’s the one who left, the one who chose someone else over her own daughter, the one who’s spent the last five years being inconsistent and unreliable. I’m not standing in the way of anything. But I watched Chloe’s face light up at pickup. I watched her crash into her mother’s arms like Victoria was the best thing she’d ever seen. And I can’t stop thinking about it.
“Emma?” Theo’s voice cuts through my spiral. “You okay? You went somewhere just now.”
“I’m fine,” I say, forcing a smile. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
I could tell him. I could spill all the messy, irrational thoughts crowding my brain, the insecurities I don’t want to admit to, the fear that I’m somehow a complication in Chloe’s life.
“Just processing everything,” I lie. “It’s a lot. Meeting Victoria, hearing about the history. I’m glad you told me.”
“I should have told you sooner,” Theo says. “All of it. I just...” He sighs, running his free hand through his hair. “I don’t like talking about that time. About who I was, how I failed. But you deserve to know what you’re getting into with me.”
“I already knew what I was getting into,” I tell him, squeezing his hand. “This just fills in some details.”
The timer on his phone goes off, and he releases my hand to drain the pasta and finish the sauce. I take a long sip of wine and stare at the marble countertop, trying to shake off the heaviness settling over me.
But a bitter, uncomfortable seed has been planted, and I can feel it taking root somewhere deep in my chest where I can’t quite reach it.
CHAPTER 23
Theo
It’s late at Harbor & Ash, and the restaurant is peaceful as we start closing up. There are only a few tables left, two servers finishing their sidework, a skeleton crew in the back. Alex is somewhere in the kitchen working on a braise for tomorrow’s special, something that requires twelve hours of slow cooking and his particular brand of obsessive attention.
Chloe decided to stay over at her Uncle Calvin and Aunt Maren’s tonight, so I’m in my office doing the kind of paperwork that accumulates no matter how often I chip away at it. Vendor invoices, scheduling adjustments, the endless small tasks that keep a restaurant running smoothly, but never feel like real accomplishments.
The feature article came out yesterday, and the response has been overwhelming. Reservations are already up thirty percent, and my phone has been buzzing all day with congratulations from people I haven’t heard from in years. Old classmates. Former colleagues. Even a few relatives who suddenly remember I exist now that there’s good press attached to my name.
