“They have their own space.”I counter.“They can still do whatever the hell they want.”
“I’m Yoko.”She shrugs, like it should be so obvious to me.
I chuckle.“You’re the furthest thing from Yoko.”
I stride over.“Give her to me.You look beat.Why don’t you go take a nap?”
“I was up until after three packing.”She explains with a small chuckle.“And I may have had a little too much to drink with Bri.”
“Go then.”I wave her away.“I got this.”
“You sure?”Concern in the look she’s giving me.“Will you be okay if she needs to be changed or gets fussy?”
“I’m sure I can figure it out.I’m a grown-ass man.”I point toward her bedroom door.“Go.Rest.”I beam down at the little girl in my arms.“Nothing I want more than to spend some time with this one.”
“Okay.”She relents, slowly retreating away from us.“But wake me if-”
“We’ll be fine.”I assure her a final time, my voice more convincing than the beating of my heart pounding against my ribs.She shuts the door softly after a final glance in our direction.
“Now what, Little One?”I peer down and ask, a gummy smile the response I get.“Want to play?”
I kneel down on the floor and sit her in front of giant block that has a million different types of activities for her to explore.She pulls herself up almost instantly, and I rear back, surprised she can stand.I realize I have so many things to learn about her, about what she can and can’t do, about what it means to be her dad.
I still haven’t told my parents, and I know I need to.I know they’ll be thrilled.But, I also know that as soon as I tell them, they’ll be on the first plane out here.Not ready for that yet.I need to get a better grip on the whole fatherhood thing before I drag them into this.
Larkin plays with beads that are on a track, sliding them back and forth, her face lighting up when they drop and glide on their own.This keeps her entertained for a full ten minutes, so I transfer her to the big boppy chair thing.She bounces in it and spins around in circles, slapping at the different toys sitting on the tray around the circumference.
I marvel at the different sounds she makes.Her voice is a bit raspy, even though it’s a higher pitch, and I wonder if she’ll sound like me.Will she be able to sing like me?How is it possible that less than a week ago, I didn’t even know a tiny version of me existed?And even more surprising, that I’m okay with it.
When she starts to get bored in the chair, I snag her up and get cozy with her on the sofa.I find some baby music on YouTube, which she seems to like, her attention mesmerized by the characters and the songs they sing.I feel her body relax into mine, and I let out a sigh of relief.She’s getting more comfortable with me, and I think me with her.
“Hey you two.”A hand shaking my shoulder gently has me prying my eyes open.
I jerk awake, my arms automatically tightening around Larkin, making sure she’s still there.“Sorry!”I sit up straighter, heart racing.“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“Luc.”Her voice soft.“You didn’t do anything wrong.”She dips her chin to the precious bundle in my arms.“Look, she’s totally fine.”
And she is.She’s sound asleep against my chest, her lips puckered around her thumb, content and safe.This might only be the second time in my life I’ve woken up with a girl in my arms and liked it.
“Looks like we all needed a nap.”A yawn escaping as she smiles down at us.“Want me to take her?”
“What time is it?”I scooch forward, sitting up straighter, transferring Larkin into her mother’s welcome arms.
“A little after four.”She informs me, her gaze locked on her daughter.
“Shit.”I rise, scraping a hand down my face as I try and wake up.“I have to go to sound check.”
“Go.”Her hips sway slightly, Lily still sleeping like an angel.“I’m good.”
I start to stride away, then stop, turning to look at the two girls that are now a permanent part of my life.“This is going to work.”
Her lips turn up in a small smile.“It’s not even been a day, Luc.”
I shake off her reality check, restating what I know in my heart to be true.“This is going to work.”
I don’t wait for her to respond.I don’t need her to respond.It’s what I believe and because of that, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it does.
Little did I know, life always seems to have the final say.
