She shrugs, a frown marring her otherwise perfect face.“I don’t remember any of it, and I did a lot of healing the weeks I was in the coma.By the time I woke up, I wasn’t really in any pain.”
She pauses a moment before continuing.“It turns out that the driver was drunk.Not that it makes any real difference, but I got a large settlement that covered all my medical bills with a lot to spare.”
“I’m really sorry that happened to you.”I walk over to grab another beer, and remember my manners.“Sorry, did you want one of these?”
“No, I’m good.”She watches me, her gaze assessing as I go back to my spot on the couch.“I have a video.”
She stands now, talking as she goes over to the table.“Of the accident.It’s from the red-light camera.The police had to surrender it to me as part of my settlement for the lawyers.”
She comes over and sits down next to me.“Do you want to see it?”
Do I?Not sure I want to see her getting hit by a car.But she seems to want to share it with me for whatever reason, so I shrug.“If you want me to.”
She takes a second to scroll through her album, handing the phone to me as the video begins to play.“There’s no sound.”She explains I take it from her, my eyes glued to the screen.
It’s grainy and in black and white.A weird feeling creeps over my skin when I see her in the dress she had been wearing the day we spent together.The little chucks on her feet.
I squint, then use my fingers to zoom in to see what she’s carrying, my breath catching when I do.It’s a tray, with two coffees and a white paper bag.Shehadgone to get coffee.She was coming back.Something shifts inside of me, and all of the anger, the months and months of rage I lived on, just slip away.She was coming back to me.
In the next second, a car slams into her, her body flying through the air before landing back on the road, and I recoil at the shock of it, almost dropping the phone.I stop the video and hand her phone back.I’ve seen everything I need to.
“I-” I shake my head, lost for words.I don’t know what to say, so instead, I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug.The feel of her against me, her smell, her soft frame, all things I never thought I was going to experience again.It’s a mind-fuck, and it’s taking me a beat to come to terms with everything.
There are people you get over.People who fade like old songs you don’t replay.And then, there was her.Her memory was like a bruise I couldn’t stop poking.A wound I never wanted to heal, no matter what I may have tried to tell myself.Some hearts don’t heal, don’t move on.They wait.And I realize as I’m holding her, I waited.I never fucking stopped.
She’s stiff for a few seconds, but then relaxes, her hands sliding up to rest on my shoulders.It’s like we both finally have some of the answers we’ve been looking for and a huge weight has been lifted.She draws back after a moment, shifting a foot away from me, but staying on the couch.
“Sorry.”Her mouth curves into a small frown.“It’s a strange thing, knowing we spent time together, slept together, yet have no memory of it and can tell that it meant something to you.”
“To us.”I correct her.“We both wanted to keep seeing each other.Even if it was after my tour ended.”
“I believe you.”She nods, a sad expression on her face.“Can you tell me what we did, where we went?”
I tell her everything, starting with finding her in my room, going to her apartment, what happened in her apartment, going to Mt.Charleston, driving her car, the Peppermill, the concert, the suite after.I tell her what our rules were, getting a little laugh from her when I tell her about my request for her to wear a dress.I share every single detail with her.And then more.The things she wouldn’t know.
“When I woke up and you were gone, I lost it.”I grimace as I recall my behavior back then.“I didn’t know I could fall for someone that quickly, but it seems I did.”
I glance over at her, not surprised in the least that her damn lower lip is clenched between her teeth.“I tried everything I could think of to find you.Went back to that restaurant, even tried calling Uber.And Dean had hooked up with your friend, but he doesn’t get attached, even a little, so that was a dead end.”
“Should have checked the hospitals.”She laughs weakly at her own joke.“Trying to retrace my steps wasn’t any better.”
She shakes her head.“I didn’t know where my car was for almost two months after I got out of the hospital.And then, one day, I went through the bag the hospital had given me, and there was a valet ticket and a hotel key for Caesars.”
She rolls her eyes as she continues.“I tried to get them to tell me who the key had originally been registered to, but they couldn’t.The key had been deactivated somehow.”She smiles.“I did get my car back though, and that was one hell of a tip I had to leave.”
“I wrote an entire album of songs about you.”I counter, just laying it all out on the line now.“All about how much I loved and loathed you at the same time.”
Her brow shoots up.“Love?”
“I don’t know.”I confess.“I think so.Didn’t actually believe that could happen in less than two days, but also don’t think I would have gone as crazy as I did, unless it was.”
“I wish I could remember.”She whispers.“Anything.Just one little bit of something.”
“I know it’s wrong to admit, but at least I know you not coming back, not being there when I woke up, wasn’t because you were trying to flee the scene.”
I feel like a complete shit bag for saying it out loud, and as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I want to reel them back in.She got hit by a damn car.She had broken bones.She was in the hospital for weeks.
The thought of her being hurt at all guts me.I’d rather take the pain I suffered, again, if it meant it would give her back her memory and take away what she went through.
