I was doing harm simply by existing.
The second night, I felt his magic trailing along the edges of our camp when my guards accompanied me to relieve myself before sleep. This indignity I gave in to without complaint. I thought about looking for him, about following the trail of magic to see where he’d hidden himself, but that might only end up with me repeating the same mistake that had seen a scout’s head sliced in two.
Was he simply not sleeping? Was Emrys patrolling all night long then leading the ride all day as well? The agony he put himself through was too much.
That same night while he was out, I left a note in his tent, pinned by a pretty stone I’d slipped into my pocket from the riverbank we’d made love beside.
Don’t let my cowardice break you, Emrys. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. I’ll say it a thousand times if that’s what it takes. I’m sorry.
At dawn, the stone lay on my bedroll. There was no note attached, but his magic lingered in the air. He’d visited while I slept.
The silence left behind was deafening. Maybe he didn’t believe me. Maybe he never would.
His magic lashed out when he thought no one would notice. He repeatedly froze the ground beneath Arth’s hooves, and the air around him would shimmer with fresh heat when the curse slipped its leash. My fingers itched to reach out, to help him, but I was too afraid of making things worse. Even broken, he continued to protect those around him.
I would endure it, and when we reached Tir Darreth, Nisien would help me return home.
The men gave no sign, though they must’ve noticed the shift in our demeanor. It was possible they attributed it all to the hardships we’d endured to return. But it was more likely that they saw their Prince Stormdân returned in place of the Emrys they’d had for only a short while.
When the towers of the castle rose in the distance, dread settled heavily in my chest. I hadn’t written to Chancellor Maeron in weeks. I’d sacrificed everything for my family’s safety, but what if it was all in vain? What if I’d lost Emrys and my family both?
Yet relief swept through the soldiers at the sight. It was bright and fierce but tinged with exhaustion all the same. It crashed into me before I could brace for the flood of emotion swelling my chest.
Safety. Familiar ground. Home. Because that was what Tir Darreth had become to me.
I opened myself wide to their emotions, to drink their relief in so it could drown my grief. That helped, but seeing scaffolds climbing up the side of the crumbling western slope gave me my first real sense of hope in days. Men swarmed the area, adding stone and mortar where Emrys’s volatility had damaged the glacis and castle foundation above. I hoped they were able to take a look into the ruins we’d fallen into—I still wanted to know if there was a connection to Emrys’s curse down there.
My throat tightened. I knew he was having the problem looked into, but I didn’t realize he was actively working on a solution. So like him, always acting in the background, never requesting the spotlight but moving the very earth around him all the same.
And that was the cruelest wound of all—his enduring care for everything without asking to be thanked for it.
I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to hold back the flood of gratitude, love, and loss as they collided. I swayed in my saddle until a whisper of magic pushed me back in place.
That small kindness undid me.
I bit my lip so hard I could taste the coppery tang of blood, forcing down a sob. But a faint whimper escaped all the same.
I felt as much as saw Emrys’s gaze snap back. The air crackled with unspoken words as our eyes met, an eternity of waiting compressed into a glance. I thought that was it, a last goodbye. But then his chin flicked toward the steps. That simple gesture cut through the emotional fog settling in my chest and sent my heart racing.
I looked up, expecting to see Nisien and the castle staff. I was already wearing the forced smile they’d need to see so I could greet them then disappear as quickly as possible.
They were there. But they weren’t alone.
The sight shattered me into a million tiny pieces. I gasped like I’d been struck with a blade. Standing there in the courtyard, alive, unbroken, and radiant with relief when they saw me were my mother, my father, and Tegil.
I was off my horse, knees nearly giving out as I slid down from the saddle. Tears blurred the world until the only shapes I could see were the ones I’d dreamed of every sleepless night: my mother’s smile, my brother laughing, my father’s steady strength.
I’d traded my heart for their safety, but Emrys had borne the cost. He’d saved them, quietly and faithfully, despite my betrayal.
The sob finally tore free from my raw throat. I stumbled into my father’s arms, nearly knocking him over in my haste. The only thing that kept him upright was a new leg that was humming with magic.
A gift.
“Papa, your leg.” I tried to laugh through my tears as he hugged me so tight I could scarcely breathe. Mama and Tegil joined in.
With puffed-up pride, he grumbled, “This one holds better than the real one ever did,” though his eyes were wet too.
They were safe. Safe from the Assembly. Safe because ofhim. And I had nothing left to give him but a broken apology he would never believe.
