Fuck.
What could I do but nod? Isca knew who I was better than anyone else, possibly better than myself. I braced myself for her to look away in shame, but she surprised me.
“Thank you, Emrys. I know you had to go into a dark place to do what you did… I’m… I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” If I didn’t change the subject, I’d open another rift in the poor farmer’s field we were skirting. “Thanking me… I never knew you were so bloodthirsty.”
The devilish grin she flashed my way eased the curse’s tension. “The Assembly has always brought out a certain ruthlessness in me. Just like your twin brings out a special type of ruthlessness in you. I think Anwen and Nisien would be a good match.” Isca went on explaining, “He has power, but he hides it, just like she does. Nisien would easily blend into their warrior society and slowly win them over to magic from within. They wouldn’t fear him the way they fear you.”
“Theyshouldfear me,” I muttered.
Her laugh was soft. “Oh Emrys…”
She was right. Isca saw things I often missed, especially in people. Isca was incredibly perceptive and far more diplomatically inclined than the formally trained diplomats I’d met.
“Nisien would be happy to stand beside her,” she added. “Not in front of her. And he cares about peace more than he hungers for glory.”
“True,” I conceded.
“The Assembly is trying to tear Gelida apart. If Maelric takes the throne, they’ll gain control of the kingdom.”
“And they’ll keep pushing outward until we all fall under their authority,” I added.
My response to Isca’s capture was easily predicted, particularly by Maeron. It was so obvious to me now. They were trying to force me to fight their bloody war for them,again.
As she nodded, a shadow passed over her face, the look in her eyes a mix of understanding and something heavier, something like shame. The expression vanished, but the cold ache it stirred in my chest stuck firm. Something was going on with her. I hoped she’d tell me soon.
She said, “A marriage between either Larethia or Darreth and Gelida could stop the fighting for all three kingdoms.”
“Diplomat indeed,” I said, but what I really thought wasQueen. “Her personality?” I asked, voice still gravelly after that emotional scare. “We only briefly met as children during peace accord talks.”
Cursed gods knew Anwen was exactly Nisien’s type in appearance.
“She’s rough around the edges,” Isca said, a smile touching her lips. “A warrior through and through. But I like her, Emrys. What little she allowed me to see inside showed me an earnest woman truly trying to protect her people.”
I looked ahead at our war camp in the distance, weighing the path she’d set before me. “If you think it’s a good idea, I trust you. Let’s ask him, for the sake of peace.”
Her next words sounded more like an admission than anything, making what I’d sensed earlier feel all the worse. “Emrys, I don’t trust the Assembly at all.”
“You shouldn’t,” I growled. “The only good thing they’ve ever done is send you to Darreth.”
I’d hoped that would bring the smile back to her face, but she only frowned. “Wait, Emrys, before we go back… We need to talk.”
I stopped my horse and smiled—until I saw that her frown had only deepened. “Oh.” My chest pulled tight. “All right.”
She looked as though she were preparing to rip off a bandage before the wound had closed. “Before I speak, you need to understand this: Last night wasn’t about the information I’m about to share. Okay?”
I nodded, a pit yawning open in my stomach.
She let out a slow breath that tousled the strands of hair framing her face. “The Assembly sent me with a secondary goal beyond helping along the succession. They sent me…to get pregnant.”
The world dropped out from beneath my feet. Fire roared in my veins as ice crystallized in my lungs. The curse was tearing me apart.
Cursed gods. I had suspected this but hearing it was another thing altogether. My old fear roared back to life, its strength amplified by my refusal to acknowledge it for so long.
I’d thrown the accusation at her weeks ago, half-fearing it, half trying to drive her away. In the weeks since, I’d dosed myself with the poison of believing that I’d been wrong about her purpose. Then, when she told me there was nothing between her and Nisien, I completely dismissed thenotion and let myself believe she cared. Now that fragile hope shattered, and the shards ripped through my gut.
Was it all a lie?
