I didn’t know if my presence would soothe the curse or make it worse. All I knew was that he wanted me close. And I… I wanted that too.
“So,” he said gently, lips curling up into a smile, “no more ‘Lord Prince’ Emrys?”
“I think we’re past that.”
His eyes wide with shock said everything his emotional walls wouldn’t let me know. He looked like a man undone by a simple kindness. Maybe itwas gratitude I saw there. Maybe hope or even longing, though I might’ve simply wanted that last from him. Or maybe it was all of them tangled together.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think that a prince’s life was easy just because he didn’t have to scrape himself to the bone for his next meal. Emrys likely hadn’t known a simple existence since he was very young. He’d always carried the weight of his title, the command and heavy expectations it brought. Then, on top of everything else, he carried the extra weight of his curse, a crushing burden adding to his already long list of obligations.
In so many ways, he’d made my life easier. Better, even. My family was thriving. I was fed, cared for by everyone around me, accepted for exactly who I was, and doing more with my life than I’d ever imagined possible. I washappy.
Emrys’s presence was a comforting shield for every step I’d taken since he’d smashed that first door in the castle. With him, I felt completely safe and secure for the first time in my entire life.
If he needed me, I would do anything to help him—even if it threatened to break my heart in two. I didn’t know what the future would bring, but I would take what he would offer right now. Because I already feared I wanted things he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, let himself give me in the long term.
Chapter 43
Emrys
With the sun hidden behind thick clouds, the camp was plunged into an early, gloomy night. The air grew colder still. The camp settled down as dying embers glowed faintly, while the sentries moved like wraiths in the darkness.
I watched the shadows drift like smoke across the walls of my tent, waiting. A knot of anticipation tightened in my chest as Isca stepped over the threshold without hesitation, never looking back. She was showing me more trust than I deserved, considering how I’d treated her in the past.
Now I’d rather suffer in silence than risk seeing fear in her eyes again. I wouldn’t make a fool of myself, or worse. Inside, I felt the curse’s tense energy, a perfect echo of my own tightly wound state. Her trust held a blade poised above my heart; breaking it meant certain death.
Her hair was unbound, falling over her shoulders in a cascade of spun gold. She carried her bedroll under one arm and her pillow under the other. That particular comfort was only afforded to her and Catrin, a fact she appeared to disapprove of from the pointed expression she wore while looking at the lack of comforts in my tent.
She was wearing that fur robe again. The one I’d imagined peeling off her too many times to count.
Control yourself, Emrys. She’s only here to prevent the general from being murdered, not for you to lose yourself in the warmth of her body.
But by the cursed gods, I still wanted to, even more than I wanted my next breath. There were so many ways I wanted to touch her. None of themwere appropriate, and each was carved into my damned soul as if hunger itself had possessed me.
Isca laid her bedroll and extra blanket on the ground, moving like a woman used to hard work. The dim magelight I cast illuminated the delicate curve of her throat and the elegant shape of her fingers as she worked to unroll it. It was easy to forget that she was lowborn—though even thinking the phrase filled me with ire. She was anything but low.
Isca belonged in the place of honor in every hall, in every room, she ever entered. She belonged on a throne.
As she stood to grab her pillow, I reached out with a thread of invisible power and silently dragged her bedroll closer to mine. My willpower to resist every temptation was limited. I couldn’t deny myself this one indulgence.
She noticed. Her face showed no shock, only a question.Is this what you need, Emrys?
The answer my eyes gave as our gazes connected wasYes, but my heart added,but I would do anything for more.
My face betrayed me, and she likely read everything I’d tried to keep concealed behind mental walls. But I was tired of fighting that struggle. She’d already felt the physical evidence of how much I wanted her. With her in such an intimate setting, I had become a man of instinct, driven by desire. I needed her close enough to smell, to feel the heat radiating off her body.
With a little shake of her head and a faint smile, she took a step forward and removed the robe.
I forgot how to breathe.
She was fully covered, but her silk nightdress was thin, clinging to her, and through it, two soft pink peaks pressed like tiny declarations of war against my self-control.
I growled like a feral dog.
By all the magic, I needed to be thrown into the river for the places my mind kept wandering. I clamped my eyes shut and breathed out forcefully to regather my wits. “Sorry.”
Restraint, Emrys. To say that I was embarrassed by my behavior was an understatement.
When I opened them again, she was already snug in her sleeping roll, facing me, amusement dancing across her features. Her blond long hair spilled across her pillow in a fan, and the scent of lavender twisted through the air again.
