I remembered the sound Owain had made when Emrys allowed him to breathe again—the gasped wheeze that sounded more like death than life returning. I knew Emrys wasn’t exaggerating how dangerous he was. He was even terrified of himself.
“Yes. I also saw you stop.”
He covered his eyes with both his forearms. “But you haven’t yet seen when Icannotstop, Isca.”
“Why are you afraid of me seeing that?”
He didn’t answer at first. Then, with a voice hoarse from too much restraint, he said, “Because you’reyou.”
“Prince Emrys…” I wanted to shake him to make him look at me. I struggled to keep my voice low in my frustration. “What does that mean? I’m here to help. Please let me!”
Eyes still closed. “I’m not safe.”
“I know.”
Voice desperate, he said, “I’m cursed, Isca.”
“I know thattoo.”
“…I can’t be good for you.”
“You already are!” I took a chance and lifted one hand to touch the arm nearest to me.
His entire body shuddered under my touch.
Abruptly, he lifted himself to one elbow, and my hand fell away. The soft leather that made up his bedroll fell down with his movement to expose his shoulders.
He was shirtless. By the gods, I wanted the blanket to fall all the way to the earth so I could see more of him.
His jaw tightened, teeth grinding with tension he clearly couldn’t swallow. His fists clenched and unclenched, like he was holding back something feral, something he feared would destroy us both.
He looked at me like I was the very madness he feared and the mercy he didn’t believe he deserved. The words that escaped his lips were a hushed growl. “I want things I shouldnot, Lady Isca.”
My eyebrows rose in question. He’d started calling me “Lady” instead of “Mage” just before this journey. Maybe he’d begun to see me in ways that I, myself, was only starting to.
“This… You…” he said. “I am at the edge of my control. I will stop pushing you awayifyou obey one request.”
Eager now, I perked up. “Anything.”
Another low growl. “Go back to your tent.Now.”
I crashed back to the ground.
My disappointment was only tempered by the wild light stalking across his gaze. Emrys didn’t yet know that I’d already warmed to the beast within him. He didn’t yet know that when it stared, I stared back, seeing the thing that had become as much a part of him as his own soul.
It was a dark thing, yes. But it reached out for all the good and bad in me, wanting them both so desperately that it became overprotective. And I was a girl who desperately wanted to be accepted, to no longer feel I was living in a space between worlds.
It,they, were a world where I could be anything I wanted.
Still, I had to know. “You want me gone to protect me?”
“…Yes.”
I sighed and returned to our tent. As I lay back down, my magic reached for him, and I decided it had the right of it. A whisper of energy, soft and cautious, curled around the outline of a body laying at the tent entrance. I pushed gently until I heard a long, weary exhale.
Then, a barely audible whisper, “Isca…” My name was nearly a prayer. At the very least a secret he’d hoped I hadn’t overheard.
A smile was stuck on my face as I fell asleep to the sounds of him breathing steadily only a few feet away. I slept easily knowing he was still out there, ready to stand between me and the world.
