I’d spent so many years doing the mothering, I hadn’t realized how much I missed being taken care of until Sabha’s kitchen gave me permission to rest.
I filled the quiet over the next few days until Nisien was to return as best I could with reading in the library. I visited Sabha in the kitchens daily to make my tinctures and pour some of my frustration into kneading bread.
But now, as I scrawled a letter to my family, I felt strangely detached from my own words. Everything was different. I ate three meals a day andtook flower-scented baths, but I didn’t get to chuckle at my baby brother’s ridiculous jokes or hear Mama humming as she stirred the stew pot.
Yet a greater part of me didn’t feel like I belonged to my old life either. How could I go from shouting at the most powerful mage in the world and dining with three princes back to cringing away from the attention of the castle guards at Caervorn?
My life,I, was changing so fast that it felt like writing was the only thing that tied the person I had been to the person I was becoming.
***
I woke up on the eleventh day of waiting for Nisien to return to the scent of honeyed bread and salty butter. Catrin was placing a tray at the foot of my bed when I stirred.
“My lady,” she said, smoothing her apron with one hand. I already didn’t like the worry she was projecting. “Prince Nisien returned during the night.”
The castle’s atmosphere had been thick with unspoken tension for the past few days while we all worried over his delay. A knot formed in my belly, replacing the hunger the smell of the bread had brought roaring to life.
I sat up straighter, blinking at the sunlight now streaming through the curtains. “What? Why so late?”
I stood to walk to the breakfast table. Before Catrin even answered, my blood turned to ice at the feeling radiating from her. Too many things could go wrong on the roads between here and the border. The blood drained from my face.
Catrin hesitated, her silence answer enough. “His guard was attacked. A raiding party came over the border. Nisien pushed the group through the night to bring one of our men back for healing.”
“Is the soldier alive? Nisien?” I didn’t mean for my voice to break, but it did. My fingers tightened on the table’s edge because it was the only thingkeeping me from falling apart. Raids had always been a grim part of life across the isles and the continent. Everyone feared them, even city folk.
“Both alive. Prince Nisien’s angry and hiding it poorly,” she said gently, pouring tea into a cup. “You’ve seen Prince Nisien fight. He’s no pushover. He’s more skilled than most give him credit for, and not just with a blade.” Her voice softened further. “His magic isn’t Emrys’s, but the Euros line is famous for a reason.” She said it like she was trying to comfort me.
Of course I knew that. But I’d come to think of Nisien’s strength as the disarming warmth that made everyone around him feel at ease. His charm made people forget he could be incredibly dangerous—even me, it seemed.
“I’m only telling you this, my lady,” Catrin added, “so you’ll know. Prince Nisien will be recovering in his rooms today. But Prince Emrys…” She trailed off then gave a tiny shake of her head. “He’s in a temper. Not one you should be near.” As she plopped down into the other chair opposite me at the small breakfasting table, Catrin said, “I’m glad you’re here, Lady Isca. I fear your skills in diplomacy may be needed now more than ever.”
My eyes widened at that. “Why exactly?”
“It’s rumored they were Gelida’s official troops, disguised as a simple raiding party. And,” she gulped, “a monarch hasn’t been attacked on Darreth soil since…ever, that I know of.”
Two things that were certain to set Emrys off.
Still, with seemingly insufficient evidence of Gelida being directly involved in the attack, there could be time before Darreth, and potentially their ally, Larethia, were drawn into war. I had to use that time wisely.
Peace was possible for this kingdom, for these princes. It was within reach. Yet with the leaders of Darreth locked in their rooms for the day, there was little I could do. I hated how powerless that made me feel.
“Catrin, we’re heading back to the fields. I’m going to try to make something special for Nisien and that soldier.”
She groaned. “We could just go to the city!”
“Do youwant to deal with people asking us about the royal caravan being attacked all day?”
Her eyes grew wide with horror. “I’d rather break my back bending over than deal with questions about war.”
War. That was the last thing I wanted.
My goal was to craft something distinct this time, not just a salve for injuries or a perk against exhaustion. I wanted to distill the feeling of hearthfire and honeyed bread, the kind of comfort that wrapped around your shoulders like a hug without needing to ask for it. After what they’d been through, I wanted them to drink it and remember what it felt like to be safe and loved unconditionally.
I’d only named two recipients aloud, but there was a third I had in mind who could use it just as much, if not more. He wouldn’t ask, but I would give it anyway.
We gathered herbs for relaxation: chamomile, lemon balm, and lavender. But I also gathered threads of memory, thoughts of baking and quiet laughter in kitchens that smelled of rosemary and love with my magic. After a bit of simmering with honey, I’d imbue it with the feeling I’d received so freely from Sabha and Catrin, from my mother, sisters, father, and brothers—they’d get it all.
I dropped the tinctures off with the princes’ stewards, and Catrin took the third to a servant in the infirmary. It wasn’t until deep evening, long after the sun had disappeared behind the hills, that Catrin returned with something clutched in her hand.
