He turned to start pacing again, like the tent was his cage.
I took another step toward him.
“No more risk,” he growled. “I will not have you seen around the camp. Not with the enemy so near. You will stay in these tents.”
I finally stepped within reach. I encircled his waist with my arms. He stopped breathing briefly, but it felt to my senses like he took a long step back from the edge.
Slowly, he turned around, the snarl unwound from his features, his jaw unclenched as his turbulent eyes flicked to mine—wary, grateful, and desperate all at once.
Catrin and I would only need to be inside the tent for a few hours this afternoon and tomorrow while he met with the general. It was a small concession to make if it calmed his beast.
“Okay,” I agreed. “Unless you’re with us, Catrin and I will be in the tents while we’re this close to the other camp. Yes?”
He said nothing, only stared down at me for a long moment as he studied my face. “Promise me, Isca.”
Saying it was easy. “I promise.”
“Everything in me is screaming to protect you, tokeepyou,” he admitted, stroking my back. “I’ve made peace with being the villain, Isca. Butthisis turning me into a beast.” He was still trying to convince me that he wasn’t safe.
“You’re not a beast,” I said, meaning it. “Whenever I get a glimpse inside you, it feels like you’re trying to hold back a river with your bare hands. That doesn’t make you a beast, or a monster, Emrys. That makes you a man who still hasn’t stopped trying.”
And if you are a monster, then you’re my monster.
The thought hit me like an avalanche. I’d fallen so hard and so fast that I hadn’t truly acknowledged how possessive my feelings had become.
He let out a slow breath and closed his eyes for a long moment. I wished I could bottle the sound of his relief and keep it with me forever. Still, guilt ate at me. He surely suspected that the woman he was so worried over had been sent here to use him. To usethis. But he didn’t yet know that I’d abandoned that task weeks ago.
A part of me wanted to confess everything right then. Another part clung to the lie. When he pulled me even tighter into his chest and his breathing came out in stutters, I knew I wasn’t ready to make the right choice.
But I would—soon.
“I’m here. I’ll stay.”
Emrys eventually,reluctantly, loosened his hold.
I smiled up at him. “But if I don’t go see Catrin soon, she’ll break her own promise not to strangle you.”
That earned a faint huff of laughter. His lips brushed my temple then he let me go.
I stepped back out into the golden afternoon light, heart still racing, and crossed the short distance to our tent. Catrin was cross-legged on her bedroll, muttering curses as she tugged dry leaves from her braids. She didn’t look up as I entered. Frustration shimmered off her like heat from a sunbaked stone. She was annoyed but not hurt by Emrys’s heavy-handedness.
“If he ever steals me away like a sack of potatoes again, I will grab Mama’s wooden spoon and spank his royal arse.”
That broke the tension. It was impossible for me to contain my laughter at that imagery. Tiny Catrin, righteous and red-cheeked, laying into Emrys, who was twice her size, with a cooking spoon. I’d pay a king’s ransom to see it.
“Let me re-braid your hair,” I offered, already reaching for the comb.
Her irritation flickered and disappeared.
She nodded then added with a crooked smile, “It wouldn’t be proper for a lady to do her maid’s hair. But let’s be honest, absolutely nothin’ about this trip has been proper.”
I picked up the comb and got to work teasing out the rat’s nest that had formed. “You told me everything about that strapping soldier back there, everythingbuthis name the last time we talked about him. You finally going to tell me?”
It was a good thing she didn’t know that I was always open to the emotions surrounding me. Because if she did, Catrin would likely be embarrassed. It was safe to say that she wasveryinterested in her savior.
“His name is Adyn,” she muttered. “You happy?”
“Ecstatic.”
