“Isca.” He walked up to me, looking me over for injuries just as Emrys had done. “We feared they’d taken you when you didn’t return. You’re…filthy?”
Nisien’s gaze darted to Emrys standing impatiently and just as filthy beside me—the rain making streaks in the dust that covered him—then back again. Nisien’s emotions told me he suspected something more than friendly had happened between us.
“We were trapped,” I explained. “Part of the western glacis collapsed when we stepped on it.”
Nisien’s voice rose, sharp and loud. “Emrys?”
I grabbed Nisien’s hand to distract him from the argument I could already feel brewing between them. “We couldn’t send word. Emrys passed out for a while after we fell in. I’m fine. He took the brunt of the fall. Then he made a tunnel so we could get out of the cavern. He saved me—twice.”
Already tired of waiting around when the men were furiously moving about the keep, Emrys slipped past both of us with a growl. He didn’t pause to entertain his brother’s shouted questions at his back but disappeared into the inner castle like a shadow.
Nisien watched him go then turned back to me, face grim and emotions stuck between fear, sadness, and worry. “We are about to see his condition worsen, Lady Isca. In times like this, even I can’t get through to him.”
The deep breath I pulled in through clenched teeth did little to alleviate the turmoil of confusion and regret at how things had just ended between us. “Where is he going?”
Nisien rubbed one gloved hand across his tired face, the smooth leather scratching against his stubble. “To war. At dawn.”
I made my excuses to Nisien and returned to my room to get out of my ruined clothes and wash. When I saw the unopened letter from Chancellor Maeron waiting for me, I sent Catrin away to seek her own bed. It was late, but I’d been expecting to hear back from him soon.
This message, too, was short:I have received word of raids and fighting in the north. This is your first warning to make tangible progress on your second objective as well, Mage Isca.
He’d congratulated me on securing a new taxation strategy with a single word but had spent far more giving me a warning. He’d noted my defiance, and if I didn’t feed him something soon, he’d surely go after my family.
His threat was heavy on my mind as the darkness of my room enveloped me. Could I ask one of the princes to send a private message to my familybegging them to leave Caervorn? Would the Assembly find them if they ran to one of my sister’s homes or to the lord my brothers worked for?
For a while, I lay still, listening to the storm’s last furious breaths against the stone eaves. But sleep wouldn’t take me, no matter how hard I tried.
Even with the worries swirling around in my head, my skin still carried the memory of Emrys’s kiss. I felt the echo of him where his fingers had traced the line of my jaw, where his lips had unleashed something aching within me.
He’d wanted me all the way down to his bones.
And yet he’d still turned away.
Emrys had vanished into the curse as he’d destroyed the rubble overhead just to escape our intimacy. He’d offered a fleeting, tantalizing peek into his world then quickly shut the door, leaving me outside in the cold, wanting desperately back in. And now I knew it was because he was trying to protect mefrom him.
The Assembly’s will wasn’t the only force keeping me bound to Emrys. It was time that I accepted that I wanted to be near him, to understand him. I was meek and soft, but I couldn’t deny how much I wanted a man forged of fire and sorrow.
Flinging the blankets off, I sat up, my magic still humming. It also wanted to reach out to him, to be near him. But he was running away again. This time to war.
And yet…
Exhaling a troubled breath, I swung my legs over the side of the bed. The cold of the stone floor seeped into my stocking feet the moment they hit the floorboards. I worked silently by the light of two small candles. I opened the carved chest at the foot of my bed and pulled free the practical woolen gowns—the ones made for movement, not court.
My fingers hesitated on the crimson riding gown the Assembly had given me. I didn’t want to wear their clothing but it was intended for what I had in mind. I unfolded it gently and laid it across the back of the chair near the hearth, where the embers still glowed. The rest I folded and piled ontop of another wooden chest. To the stack, I added the red and gold dress I’d been too afraid to wear when I first arrived. It would serve as a promise, a decision made in fabric.
Work complete, I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. Far too soon, a quiet knock startled me from my troubled slumber. The soft whisper of dawn crept through the curtains as the door creaked open, and Catrin stepped inside, balancing a tray.
Her gaze fell on the riding gown, and she stopped short.
“You’re not… Isca!” Her voice, tight with disbelief, issued a sharp warning. “No, no,no. What is this?”
I dragged myself out of bed, fatigued from the prior day’s excitement and restless sleep, and poured myself a glass from the pitcher of water she’d set down on the table. “I’m going with them.”
Catrin’s fists balled. She rested them on her hips, looking every bit the displeased mother even though she was three years younger than me. “You’re what?”
“I’m riding out with the contingent of soldiers they’re sending to the border.”
“Why shouldyougo, my lady?”
