Chapter 26
I walk back, my head still spinning, but with every step I feel myself getting stronger. I can do this. I can be brave. I can let the story play out, even when I don’t know how it’ll end.
But when the elevator opens, I come out to see Eli already standing in front of my door.
“Hi,” I say tentatively, as he turns around at the noise, startled.
“Oh, hi.” He pauses, looking me over, like he’s letting his expression be determined by mine. It’s a shyness I never thought I’d see on Eli.
But I guess there’s a lot I didn’t realize about Eli.
“I’m, um ... I was just dropping George off, and then I was ...” I fiddle with my keys, nervous at his nervousness. “I was going to come back and, um ...”
“I saw your note,” he says, saving me from my inept bumbling.
“Great. That’s great.”
We both stand there, waiting. It’s not uncomfortable the way I might expect it to be when you see someone you’ve slept with in the light of day. But we’re both unsure.
“I, uh ... you were gone a long time. With George,” he says. “So I figured I’d see if you’d come back to your apartment but not back downstairs.”
Ohhhh.
“No, no, I took a long walk. I wouldn’t just ...” I rub a hand over my face. This is all coming out wrong. We’re like two bumblingteenagers, each trying not to say the wrong thing when standing in front of their crush. And I’m suddenly woefully aware of how haphazard I look. I didn’t even brush my hair, and I haven’t changed my clothes since last night. I look like I freaked out and took my dog on an hour-long walk after waking up in his bed. Which is technically true, but not for the reasons he’s probably thinking.
But then he kindly saves me from myself by reaching out and grabbing my wrist. “Nora,” he says with affection.
I half sigh, half chuckle. “I know, sorry. I’m not trying to be awkward. This is just me.” I give him a sheepish look, because at least that much is the truth. “Do you want to come in?”
He nods. “Yeah, actually. I need to tell you something.”
At that my heart drops. Does he know? Has he always known? Oh mygod, what if he already knew and didn’t say anything?
No, that’s not possible, because then why would he have my number in his phone under two different names?
But oh shit, then what could he need to tell me? Does he regret last night? Is he going to saySorry for the mistakebefore I’ve even had a chance to tell him that I’m Eleonora?
“It’s nothing bad,” he says with a small laugh, clearly in response to the total blanking out that must be registering on my face. “I mean, it’s not good, but it’s not about ... not about last night or anything.”
“Oh, okay,” I say, now fumbling to get the door open while George stares up at me like he regrets having me as an owner.
I push the door open, and George trots away in a huff, clearly ready to get away from me after my walk-detour to Dane’s and then my total meltdown now.
“Do you want a coffee?” I ask, not ready to look at Eli while I don’t have my bearings.
“I have to go back to London,” he says, and I turn around sharply at the words. Thank goodness I don’t already have coffee yet, or I might’ve done a repeat of Dane’s spit take. “I was actually, funny enough, goinglater this week ... I hadn’t told you, because it hadn’t come up. And ... right, sorry, anyway, I need to go today, though.”
“Um, okay?” I reply, not really sure what the right response is to him; this unsure version of Eli is throwing me completely off.
“My mum just called, and she’s in hospital with, apparently, a broken hip. She fell this morning, a few hours ago her time, and luckily she was able to call an ambulance, but they’re about to do surgery, so I need to hop on the next flight I can get.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, hating that I feel relieved over an old lady breaking bones instead of all the scenarios I had playing in my mind. “So, um ...” I stop, not really knowing what to say. “What does that ...”
But he sees the helpless expression on my face and comes to me, putting a hand gently on my hip. “Sorry, I’m really bad at this,” he says.
I snort, because the thought thathe’sfailing when I’m internally combusting over information that might make his mind also explode is laughable.
“No, no, you’re not,” I say, putting my hands on his shoulders, like maybe if we can both hold on to each other, we can get past whatever this tentativeness is. “See ... the thing is, Eli ...”
