I shake my head. “Don’t feel guilty for loving your job,” I tell her. “Your work didn’t murder Dr. McKullan and Anders. Elias did. You can be excited for your day and thrilled to be doing what you love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also feel your feels. Be sad when you need to be. Think of him when you need. Ask yourself what he would have done if you get stuck. But don’t you dare feel guilty for loving the job you’ve worked your ass off for.”
Harper nods and leans into me, gently pressing her lips to mine in a soft kiss. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Morticia.”
“Ooh, Morticia this morning. What did I do to deserve that? Usually, you hit me with doll first thing in the morning.”
“Can’t help it, not when you’re dressed in these sexy little scrubs.”
Harper rolls her eyes. “There’s nothing sexy about these scrubs.”
“We’re going to have to agree to disagree on that one.”
Harper pretends to choke as I make my way around the kitchen, getting everything ready for my day and stealing just one more sip of coffee from her thermos. “Was that your meds alarm that went off earlier?”
“Gee, you don’t miss a thing, Officer. Are you sure you’re not a detective?” I give her a hard stare, and she lets out a low sigh. “Yes, that was my alarm, and yes, I had my meds. I’m still a functioning person of society. Happy now?”
Wow. So that’s what she looks like when she lies directly to my face. I’ll take note.
Stepping back into her, I take her chin and lift it until those dazzling eyes are locked on mine, and while I could call her on her bullshit and demand to know what the fuck is going on, I don’t want to back her into a corner just yet. “Ecstatic,” I tell her.
She grins at me, but I see the slight tightening in her eyes, letting me know that something is off. “Do you have to go now, or do you have a few minutes?” Harper asks; that tightening in her eyes now almost looks like pure panic.
“I’ve got a minute,” I say, bracing my hands on either side of her thighs as I watch her, wondering if she’s about to give me all the answers I’ve been looking for without needing to put her through an interrogation. “What’s up? Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. You don’t need to worry,” she tells me. “I just had a conversation with Jonah the other day and I guess . . . I don’t really know. I wanted to run something by you and see what you thought.”
My brow arches. This is definitely not about the meds.
“What’s going on, doll?”
“Shit. Okay, I wasn’t expecting to feel so nervous about this,” she says, prompting me to shift my hands to her thighs before watching the way she visibly begins to calm at my touch. She takes a minute, her face scrunching a million different ways before finally taking a shaky breath and giving it to me straight. “I was talking to Jonah about Mom’s situation with the baby, and he mentioned that if Mom wasn’t willing to provide a more . . . stable home life for our sister, that maybe I shouldconsider taking custody. You know, assuming Mom does what Mom does best and only thinks about herself.”
I stare at her for a moment. “You want to adopt your baby sister?”
“I, ummm . . . I’m not sure. I didn’t consider it as an adoption, just that I would claim guardianship over her and raise her in a home where she’s treated right and valued. That way she would know how it feels to have love and light in her life. I don’t want this baby to have the same upbringing I had. And I know I’m getting way ahead of myself because, as far as I’m aware, Mom really wants this baby, but I just don’t see it happening once Elias is dealt with. Mom will want to move on to her next billionaire, and she’ll leave this innocent little soul to fend for herself. I’ve seen it too many times. I’ve been that baby, and I just . . . I want better for her.”
“Are you ready to be a mom?”
She shakes her head. “No, not even close. I want to be a crazy midtwenties loser who drinks on the weekends and doesn’t have to worry about anything except trying not to get herself killed by psychopaths. I’m not ready to be someone’s mom. I don’t want to think about having a baby of my own until years down the track, but I do know that if it came down to it, I would want to give this little girl a home.”
I nod, with her right until the end. “Okay,” I tell her. “Whatever you decide, that’s the road we travel.”
“Huh?” she grunts. “Just like that?”
“Yeah, just like that.”
“You’re not even going to try to argue about this?”
“Why would I want to do that?” I ask. “My only purpose in life is to make you happy, to give you everything you deserve, and if taking custody of your baby sister is what you feel is right, then we’ll do that without looking back. We can raise her as our own,or as your sister. That choice can be yours. But no matter what you decide, I will be right here, ready to catch you if you fall.”
Harper visibly swallows as her eyes fill with unshed tears. “It terrifies me, Knight.”
“I know,” I say, pulling her against my chest. “Change is supposed to be scary. It’s uncharted waters, but that’s how we grow. It’s how we learn and better ourselves. Don’t fear change, embrace it. Fear the moment you stay the same.”
Harper nods against my chest, her face squished against my shirt. “Is there a toilet roll with all of these inspirational quotes written on it somewhere, or are you just getting wise in your old age?”
“I might be getting older, but I could run circles around you,” I tell her. “How’re those pull-ups coming along?”
