He debated the advisability of continuing the conversation, then decidedto hell with it.
“It’s definitelysomethin’. Earlier tonight ya said ya weren’t the kind of woman to be another notch on my bedpost. And now when I tell ya that what I feel for ya as my friend and colleague is different from what I feel for the other women in my life, ya hit me with that look”—he pointed at her face—“and make a comment about that bein’ better than nothin’.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he was on a roll. “So what does all that mean? ’Cause in my simple man-brain, I can’t help thinkin’ it means ya want somethin’ from me that ya think I’m not willin’ to give and?—”
It was her turn to cuthimoff. “It’s not that Iwantsomething from you. It’s that I…I…” She faltered before squaring her shoulders. “It’s that I know that in a different universe, I could maybe, perhaps, perchance contemplate the possibility of starting something with you. But since we’re inthisuniverse, well…” She let the sentence dangle and punctuated it with a frustrated gesture.
And there it was. The truth he’d begun to suspect but hadn’t dared believe might actually be a possibility. If he’d been capable of it, the agile-minded, attractive, admirable Eliza Meadows would have considered him for a partnership. Arelationship.
It was too preposterous to fathom. Which was why the next word out of his mouth was, “Why?”
She blinked uncomprehendingly. “Why what?”
“Why would ya ever maybe, perhaps, perchance contemplate the possibility of startin’ somethin’ with me inanyuniverse? You’re educated and cultured and wealthy and beautiful. And I’m…” He threw exasperated hands in the air. “Me.”
Her mouth fell open as she stared at him. Then she shook her head. “We’ve already determined that education doesn’t equal smarts. As for the culture and the wealth? Those are simply the consequences of having been raised the way I was raised.”
She flattened her lips and skewered him with a look. “And youknowyou’re beautiful. It’s not just your charm and Southern drawl that draw women to you like moths to a flame. It’s your face too.” She pointed. “That movie star face that, annoyingly, only seems to be getting better with age.”
He was about to feign shock and tease her about complimenting him again.Twice in one day!But she wasn’t finished.
“Plus you’re funny and you’re kind and somehow, despite all the things I just listed, you’re still humble. There’s probably not a woman on the planet who wouldn’t fall in love with you given the chance. But none of that matters, because you’ve made it clear you’ll never give anyone a chance. So…” She shook her head in exasperation. “Sothere.”
He tucked her words into a corner of his hard, stone heart. And there they stayed.
There had been plenty of times in his life when he’d wished things were different. When he’d wishedhewas different. But never more so than in that moment.
If he’d been anyone but Nash Wakefield’s son, he’d have gone down on one knee and pledged his life to her. As it was, all he could do was give her the same truth he’d always given her.
“I can’t be somethin’ I’m not.” His voice sounded rusty, like the old tools that had hung in the shed behind his parents’ house. “And I can’t feel somethin’ I don’t. The stuff they write about in the storybooks, the stuff we see here everyday between the original Knights and their partners? That stuff isn’t for me.”
She eyed him for a long while. Finally, she whispered, “Why? Can you at least tell me that much?”
“Just take my word for it,” he assured her and stopped there even though he wanted to add,But if I was goin’ to be with anyone, if I was capable of pledgin’ my life to anyone, it’d be you. Because she was…everything. Everything that was good and beautiful and loyal and true.
He’d already said too much though.
Or…maybe he hadn’t said enough.
Hellfire and damnation, she was making his head spin. It was time to change the subject. “How are ya feelin’ after findin’ out about the senator?”
He could tell by her expression she wasn’t ready to switch topics. But she was too tired to keep bashing her head up against a brick wall, and so she shrugged.
“Sort of numb. I didn’t know Bethany Chastain more than in passing. But if my dad liked her, then she must’ve been okay. You know, as far as politicians go.”
“Speakin’ of your dad. I wonder why he didn’t phone ya when he heard of the senator’s passin’?”
She blinked as if she found that strange too. Then she reached into her bedside table and pulled out her cell phone. The thick bedcovers slipped down to reveal her smooth, pale shoulders and her pajama top pulled toward the middle of her torso so he caught just the briefest glimpse of side-boob.
Six PM to midnight. Again.
It was becoming a problem. How was he supposed to get any work done if he was constantly slinging lumber?
After thumbing on her phone’s screen, she grimaced. “He did call me.” She turned the device to show him her home screen with all the alerts. “Three times. I had turned it off because I was…” She cleared her throat and shot him a shy glance from beneath her inky lashes. “Uh…otherwise occupied.”
Liquid heat instantly flooded his veins.
The thought of her lying in bed touching herself or…better yet…using a toy on herself was nearly enough to make him get down on one knee and pledge to give her all she wanted, everything she could ever desire. And damn where he’d come from andwhohe’d come from and the danger that would bring them both.
