She loved him until she thought her heart might burst with it. Loved him until all her bones ached with it. Loved him until she wanted to declare it right then and there.
Instead, she bit her tongue and went willingly into his arms once he lay down on his back and patted the space over his heart. With her cheek pillowed on his chest and her thigh thrown over his, she noted once again how lovely his body hair felt against her skin and how safe and comfortable she felt when his arm came around her waist.
This is intimacy,she thought.Even more than the sex.
“How’d you and your ex meet?” she asked quietly, still reeling at the thought of him having been married.
And yes, maybe a little jealous too. Whowasthis woman who’d won his heart enough to have him walking down the aisle?
“Met her at a bar six weeks before I finished Raider training.” He absently twirled the ends of her hair between his fingers. “A month later, we were married.”
She pushed up on her elbow and cupped her cheek in her hand. “That was quick.” The green-eyed monster that’d hopped atop her shoulder gained ten pounds and grew fangs. “Must’ve been love at first sight.”
He shook his head. “More likelustat first sight. And I was still so green I didn’t know the difference. Plus, I had this crazy idea I was gonna make myself the perfect family. You know, the wife, the two-point-five kids, and the house in the suburbs. But I caught Chloe riding her Jody—” He stopped and explained. “Chloe is my ex. And a Jody is what us military types call the guy back home who’s fucking your woman. Anyway, the neighbor’srealname was Steve, and I caught her screwing him eighteen months after we said our I do’s. We were divorced a day shy of our second wedding anniversary. As they say, easy come, easy go.”
“Do you miss her?” She held her breath as she awaited his answer.
“Hell no.” The harshness of his words convinced her even more than the look of disgust that came over his face. “The only thing I miss is the fantasy I had of living that Meredith and McDreamy life, you know?”
Her eyes rounded. “You did not just referenceGrey’s Anatomy.”
His grin was a little self-conscious. “Look, being a Raider meant there were moments of balls-to-the-wall action. But most of the time, it was a game of hurry up and wait. I had to fill my hours with something. One of my bunkmates had the first ten seasons downloaded onto his laptop.”
She blinked. “Only the first ten? Did you ever pick up after that?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Why?”
She grimaced. “I’m not one for spoilers.”
“Why, Hannah?” He poked her shoulder. “What happened?”
“You sure you want to know?” She turned to give him the side-eye. “I don’t want to ruin the—”
“Oh, my god! Just tell me!”
“Derek dies in season eleven.”
His face paled. “No.”
“Afraid so.” She winced.
“But why are there so many seasons after that? I mean, Derek and Meredith’s relationship is the lynchpin of the whole show.”
She shrugged. “It sort of focused more on other characters after that.”
While he digested her bombshell, she was quiet. Then, tentatively, she ventured, “Do you still want that? The wife and the kids and the house in the ’burbs?”
He hitched a shoulder. “Someday maybe. But hopefully I’ll be smarter the second time around. Choose with my heart and my head instead of trying to force a childhood dream into reality with the first woman willing to wear my ring.”
She wasn’t sure where the idea came from, but suddenly she couldn’t think of anything else. “Do you have a picture? Of Chloe, I mean?”
He frowned. “Why?”
She shrugged. “Just curious about the woman you chose to mother your children, I guess.”
“Women.” He shook his head. “You guys are an endless mystery to me. I’m lying here with you naked and the absolutelastthing I wanna look at is photos of your exes.”
Normally, she wouldn’t care about his exes either. Normally, she was a firm believer inthe past is in the past and there is no use rehashing it. But there was something she needed to know.
