Would he continue to see her,sleepwith her for a while if she gave him the chance? Probably. They enjoyed each other’s company, and the chemistry was freakin’ phenomenal. But she had no doubt eventually he’d move on from her, in search of that tall, blond, buxom woman of his dreams.
And the longer she allowed herself to be with him, trulybewith him, the deeper she’d fall in love. And the more the eventual ending would hurt.
Best just to stop this now, she told herself.It’s cleaner. Less complicated. Less likely to absolutely decimate me.
Of course, the first step to doing that was to dry her damn eyes and get the hell off his lap.
It took a minute and two tries before she could kill the waterworks. But eventually she was able to sit up and scrub the wetness from her cheeks.
The instant her eyes focused on his face, however, his handsome, dear,wonderfulface, she nearly broke down again.
She meant to thank him for everything. Meant to tell him she’d never be able to repay him for all he’d done for her. But when she opened her mouth, the words that spilled out on a strangled cry were, “C-can I call Cesar and t-tell him I’m okay?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his gentleness and care pulverizing her already shattered heart. Reaching into the suit pants he still wore, he pulled out his cell phone.
The Jolly Rancher she’d secreted into his pocket came out with the device. And he bent to retrieve it off the floor.
“I’m going to be three-hundred pounds if you keep doing this,” he teased, already untwisting the wrapper.
She could’ve told him he needn’t worry. She could’ve told him that would be thelastpiece of candy she ever put in his pocket. Instead, she forced a wobbly smile and reached for his cell phone. “May I?” After he handed it to her, she nodded her thanks and finally managed to push up from his lap.
Her fingers shook as she keyed in Cesar’s number. But that was nothing compared to how badly her knees trembled when he answered on the first ring and she heard his low, lovely, familiar voice. It hit her ears like a salve and, suddenly, all she cared about was falling into his arms and pouring her heartache into to his sympathetic ear.
“Cesar!” His name came out on a hiccupping sob.
She didn’t register Sam steering her toward a chair and gently pressing her into it. She didn’t register the myriad questions her roommate peppered her with or that she actually answered them. And she didn’t register the slightly sad, slightly resigned look that crossed Sam’s face when she told Cesar, “I just want to come home.” Glancing up at Sam, she experienced a brief flash of anxiety. “Icango home, right? I don’t have to stay here until Eliza’s dad—”
“Of course you can go home,” he cut her off. “You’re free to leave anytime.”
She was too caught up in her own emotions to hear the disappointment in his voice.
True to his word, ten minutes later he stood with her on the curb in front BKI’s massive iron gates. Her borrowed dress and coat had beenmorethan enough in Texas, but they weren’t cutting it when it came to fending off the icy breath of a Chicago winter.
The sun might be out, and the day was still and windless. But the bitterness of the frigid air had her shoving her hands deep into the coat’s pockets and hunching her shoulders forward in a useless effort to ward off the cold as they waited for her cab to arrive.
“Here.” Sam pulled his stocking cap off his own head and transferred it to hers, shoving it down over her ears.
She knew her smile was wan and miserable, but she gifted it to him anyway. It was all she had. That, and the heartfelt words… “Thank you, Sam.”
“Can’t have you losing an ear to frostbite at this point in the game.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I meanthank you. For everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come racing to my rescue.”
He pulled at his ear, the ear she’d licked and nibbled. It was already turning red from the cold. “Seems to me, you mostly rescued yourself. I just provided a few resources to help you along the way and—”
“No, Sam.” It hurt to pull her hand from her pocket and expose it to the cold, but she did it to curl her fingers around his forearm and squeeze. “Thank you.”
For a long time, she forced herself to hold his gaze. To say with her eyes what she couldn’t say with her mouth. Which was that she owed him everything. Her verylife.
His blue eyes glinted in the sun. “If memory serves, you saved my bacon about six months back. So how’s about we call it even?”
The hacking and coding she’d done for him didn’t come close to matching all he’d just done for her, all he’d justriskedfor her. But she knew arguing was pointless.
Instead, she nodded and said, “Deal.”
He grew quiet then as he looked across the way to the bagel store and coffee shop. It was mid-afternoon. A quiet time in the caffeine trade. Even still, a man in a long coat and a furry trapper hat pushed inside and the bell on the door let out atinkle.
