It was transcendent. Infinite. Unparalleled.
By the time the last vestiges surged through him, he felt like he’d hiked forty miles in full battle rattle with no food and stingy water rations.
He was done for. Drained. His muscles useless and his balls empty.
He hadn’t realized he’d collapsed atop her until some of his senses returned and he felt her running a single finger up and down the sweaty groove of his spine. His cock was still held tight inside her hot, silky sheath. And her face was turned into his cheek so she could leave sweet, soft kisses against the side of his jaw.
As erotic as the massage and the sex had been, that’s how beautiful and tender the aftermath was.
When a lump formed in his throat, he realized two things. One, he’d never felt as at peace or as at home with anyone as he did with Grace. And two, he was falling in love with her.
Or maybe it was more accurate to say he’dfallenin love with her three years ago. But since he’d had no experience with the emotion, he hadn’t recognized it for what it was.
He recognized it now.
It was as warm and as wonderful as the poets described. As exhilarating and as liberating as the lyrics in the love songs made it sound. Better than any movie with Kate Hudson and Matthew McComeOnAndWearAShirt.
Oh, and it also scared the ever-loving shit out of him.
He’d stared down the barrel of an enemy AK-47 without batting a lash. Crouched in the corner of a mud hut while mortars fell around him without sweating. Taken a six-inch blade to the flank without freaking out and screaming his head off. But the difference between those experiences and this one was thatthosecould be fixed with strategic countermoves and/or a surgeon’s scalpel.
There was no cure for this. No counterattack that could mitigate the misery. No doctor who could mend a broken heart.
And his heart would break.
The moment he had to watch her walk away from him, the damn thing would explode into a million pieces.
He remembered something Dan “The Man” Currington—one of the original Knights—had told him one night when they’d been talking about Dan’s first wife, a woman named Patti who’d been killed in crossfire back when the original BKI was in its infancy. Hunter and Dan had been out on the back patio, sipping sparkling waters because neither of them drank. Dan had watched his second wife and their adorable little girl, Cora May, chase each other around the fire pit.
“A heart can heal after it breaks,”he’d said in that hard Detroit accent of his that over-pronounced the R’s.“But the pieces never quite fit together the same. I’m not saying it’s better or worse. I’m just saying it’s different. And that’s okay. Nobody gets out of this thing we call life with all their parts still tuned to their factory settings.”
So Hunter would love Grace in the time he had. And then he’d lose her and his heart would shatter. But eventually, with time, it would reform itself. And if he was to believe Dan, it would be okay.
“Hunter?” she whispered in his ear before placing another sweet kiss on his cheek. “If I had my way, we’d stay like this forever. But I don’t want the condom to leak.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her a leaky condom wasn’t a problem.
“Of course.” He pushed up on one elbow so he could grab the rim of latex and hold the condom in place as he slowly pulled out of her beautiful body.
The sight of his semi-rigid dick sliding from the soft, swollen, pinkness of her sex had desire once again stirring low in his gut. But it was impossible to look into her eyes. If he looked into her eyes she might see the love shining in his. And if she saw the love shining in his…
His thoughts skidded to a halt so quickly he figured if he peeled back his skull, he might see skid marks on his brain.
Whatwouldhappen if Grace knew he’d fallen in love with her? What would she do? What would she say?
His heart thundered at the idea that she might say she’d fallen in love with him too. That it’d happened for her like it’d happened for him. Slowly, with that first “you might be a redneck if” joke they’d shared after he introduced her to Chuck. And then more quickly, with those four days of quiet lunches and after-work conversations, two of which had stretched long into the night. And finally ended with the charity event and that kiss.Thekiss.
The one that’d ruined him for kissing anyone else.
Or maybe she’d be sweet and gracious and thank him for his affection while letting him down easily by telling him that while shelikedhim and certainlylustedafter him, her feelings began and ended there.
Honestly, he didn’t know which would be worse. To be outright rejected? Or to have his feelings returned only to have to tell her it’d never work because he could never give her the children she talked about as if they were a foregone conclusion.
He used the excuse of going to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and give himself the opportunity to gather his thoughts. After he’d dumped the used Trojan in the trash can, he studied his face in the mirror over the sink.
His cheeks were flushed from exertion. The hair at his temples was damp with sweat. And the look in his eyes reminded him of all those times as a teenager when he’d moved into a new foster home with no idea if it was going to be simply terrible or outright torturous.
It was the look of fear that came over a person when they had no clue what the future might bring but were fully prepared for it to bring the worst.
