She sat forward so she could pin him with a serious look. “Can I ask you a question?”
One eyebrow arced up his forehead. “Sure. But before I answer, I have to know. Am I under oath? You’ve got your lawyer face on.”
“What’s my lawyer face?”
“Pinched lips.” He brushed a fingertip over her mouth and she shuddered involuntarily. “Laser-focused gaze.” His fingertips smoothed over one of her eyebrows. “Somber expression.” He booped the tip of her nose at the same time one corner of his mouth tilted up. “It’s very intimidating. I bet you’re something to see in the courtroom.”
“Maybe you’ll come watch me some time.”
“Maybe.” He winked, but she could tell by his tone he had no intention of ever coming to see her in court.
The shattered pieces of her heart were ground to dust.
He mistook her look of despair for one of impatience. Laughing softly, he chucked her under the chin. “Okay, fine. No more conversational detours. What’s your question?”
“Have you ever killed someone who wasn’t trying to kill you or trying to kill someone you were sworn to protect?”
“Wow.” He blinked. “You don’t mess around. Just…right for the jugular.” He pantomimed stabbing himself in the neck.
“I’m not aiming for your throat,” she assured him. “What I’m aiming for is your head. I feel like you have a distorted view of things. And I want to help you see things clearly.”
He grew contemplative and the silence stretched. When he finally answered, his words came out slowly. “You can’t understand battle until you’ve lived it. You know that phrasethe fog of war?” When she nodded, he continued. “It really is afog. You don’t see or remember things clearly. And in a gun battle, so many bullets are flying it’s hard to keep track of which ones are yours.”
“So the answer is no.” She employed her best courtroom voice. “To the best of your recollection, you have never killed anyone who wasn’t trying to kill you or those you were sworn to protect. I may be a lapsed Catholic, but I’m pretty sure that means your soul is clean.”
The muscles in his jaw began ticking again. “Doesn’t feel that way.”
“That’s because you’re mistaking black marks for little rips. Taking a life can tear at the core of you, even when the taking is justified. But black marks are saved for sins, Dalton.” She framed his face with her hands so he’d be forced to look at her. Tolistento her. “Forevilscommitted against another person,” she went on. “And that, my friend, isn’t something you have to worry about.”
Something moved behind his eyes. “Are we friends, Cami?”
“That’swhat you focused on?” Her expression matched the exasperation in her voice. “Did you hear anything else I said?”
“All of it. And maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s tears and not black marks. But tears destroy as surely as stains do. They still make me feel…less.”
“Lesswhat?” she pressed.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head and the move made her drop her hands from his face. Her fingertips itched with the urge to touch him again, so she once again tucked them under the coverlet. “Human, maybe?”
She couldn’t give him all her truths, so she was happy to give him this one. “Dalton Simmons, you have more humanity in your big toe than some men have in their entire bodies.”
When he swallowed, his Adam’s apple made aclickingsound in his throat. Then he cocked his head. “But the question still stands. Are we friends?”
She searched his eyes, trying to think of how to answer. Finally, she gave him another unvarnished truth. “Besides my sister, you might be the best friend I’ve ever had.”
When he blinked in astonishment, she was quick to add, “I mean, you can be brooding and cynical, and you get on my last nerve when you try to yuck my yum. But you’re also the only person I’ve ever met who isn’t offended by my sarcasm. Who gets my jokes. Who challenges me intellectually.”
He bit the inside of his cheek to keep his self-satisfied grin from growing too big. Then, he asked, “Yuck your yum?”
“Yeah, you know, rain on my parade, burst my bubble. Basically make me want to hit you and hug you at the same time.”
“Which do you want to do now?”
He was trying to be playful. But she couldn’t manage to join in. Her face and tone were both serious when she asked, “Which do youwantme to do?”
Suddenly, all the teasing was gone from his eyes too. “I could use a hug.”
“Good.” Her voice broke. “I could too.”
