She shrugged and her expression was self-deprecating. “Most of my thinking comes from a lifetime of farming and ranching. So maybe I tend to oversimplify things. But…I think love blooms where it’s planted. And I think a person can choose where to till the soil and put down seeds. I chose Randall. He chose me. We planted love together in a new field. But that doesn’t mean either one of us loves our first spouse any less or that we don’t still tend to those original fields and visit the love still growing there. We do. Every day.”
He was quiet while letting her words sink in.
She took advantage of his silence by asking, “You’re worried about Lily’s memory fading?”
Unshed tears stung the back of his nose when he nodded.
“Son, that’s bound to happen regardless of whether you let someone else into your life. Regardless of whether you open your heart to new love.” Her smile was sad. “Time takes all things. The vibrancy of youth dims. Memories fade.” She gave him a meaningful look. “Even the stars wink out and die.”
“I feel like I should try not to let that happen. That I should try to hold onto her. Like I owe it to her. To our love.”
His mother brushed his hair back from his forehead, just like she’d done when he was a boy. Closing his eyes, he admitted to himself how much he’dmissedher. “Shouldandoweare dangerous words, Dalton. I suspect Lily would hate to hear you utter either one in reference to her.”
The tears that’d been burning the back of his nose welled up in his eyes. He used the excuse of flicking his toothpick into the flower beds to turn away and give himself the opportunity to wipe them away.
When he swung back to her, his eyes were dry, but his voice was wet-sounding. “Okay, so what if I do as you say? What if I till the soil and plant the seeds? Will that be fair to Cami?”
His mother frowned and he appreciated how the years had etched lines into the corners of her eyes and feathered streaks of gray through the blond hair at her temples. Even at sixty-one, she was still a handsome woman. “What do you mean byfair?” she asked.
“I mean at least with you and Randall, you’dbothsuffered losses. You werebothhaving to share space in the other’s heart with someone else. Is it fair for me to ask Cami to share space with Lily when I won’t have to do the same?”
He realized what he’d said and tugged on his ear. “Of course, that’s assuming shecouldlove me after the way I behaved. After the things I said.”
Howcould he have blamed her for what the thieves had done? How could he have placed all of that at her feet just because she’d let a clue slip?
Of course, he knew how.
It was just as John had said. He’d used the excuse of her indiscretion to push her away so he wouldn’t have to face the truth.
The truth that he’d fallen in love with her. All the way. Head over heels. Starting with the first night they met, encompassing all their tiffs, and ending with the evening of the storm. Helovedher. Mind and body. Heart and soul.
And yet…he still loved Lily too.
“Humans are amazing creatures,” his mother said. “We’re made of resilience and magic and forgiveness. Go to Cami. Tell her how you feel. And if she’s half the woman you say she is, she won’t have any problem sharing space in your heart. Because if she’s half the woman you say she is, she’ll know jealousy isn’t a form of love. It’s a form of possession.”
He shook his head. “You call yourself uncomplicated. But you know what Dad used to call you behind your back?” She only blinked for him to continue. “A philosopher. He used to tell me, ‘Dalton, your momma is the human embodiment of that old sawstill waters run deep.’”
She smiled, her eyes going soft. “And he used to tell me, ‘Vera, that son of ours hasn’t got enough sense to pour piss out of a boot. We’ll be lucky if he graduates high school.’” She snorted. “I’m just saying, the man got things wrong sometimes.”
Doc laughed. And truly, nothing felt better than laughter after tears. “In his defense, between the ages of six and sixteen Iwasdumber than a bag of hammers. How many times did I break something jumping off the roof of the barn?”
“Three.” She made a face. “First your ankle, then your left arm, and finally your right wrist. I thought your father was going to kill you on the drive to the emergency room after that last one.”
Doc nodded. “Lord, he was mad at me. Especially because once we got to the hospital, I kept asking the attending physician medical questions, so it took twice as long as it should have to get the bones set and the cast on. It was calving season, and Dad hated being away from the ranch.”
“It was his favorite time of the year. He always loved having all the babies around.”
“I miss him so much.” Old sorrow turned Doc’s voice gruff.
“Me too.” His mother’s eyes were suddenly over-bright. “Every single day.”
“And you can do that and still love Randall?” He shook his head. “I don’t get it.”
Her mouth twisted. “That’s because you’re young.”
He chuffed out a sardonic breath. “I’m notthatyoung.”
“You’re still young enough to think falling in love is supposed to be angsty and tempestuous and wildly passionate.” She nudged him and smiled knowingly. “And that’s fine. But once you get to be my age, you realize that being crazy in love is a fool’s game. That anxious, breathless, insane feeling doesn’t last. And once it wears off, sometimes you’re left with nothing. I’d much rather be calm in love. Understood in love. Patient and generous in love.Contentin love.”
