Glad for the distraction from her own thoughts, Mia asked, “What are you looking for?”
“What every hetero woman is looking for, I guess.” Cami flicked her fingers casually. “I want a man who’s loyal, devoted, emotionally available, intellectually curious, and handsome without knowing it. A man’s who’s quick with a smile, but with a bit of an edge to keep things interesting.”
She bobbed her eyebrows and kept going. “A man who’ll luxuriate in a bubble bath with me, but who’ll also share the household and child-rearing duties, because Momma gotta bring home the bacon, too. And fair is fair.”
She tapped her lips before adding, “A man who has some miles under his tires, but who’s retained enough of his inner child to be open to new ideas. A man who’s honest, who values integrity, who’s independent because being wanted is sexy but beingneededbecomes burdensome over time. A man who respects himself enough not to take shit from anyone, but who isn’t so hard that he can’t bend without breaking. You know, basically I want Prince Charming so long as Prince Charming believes in a post-patriarchal society. And throw in a little bit of sex god while you’re at it.”
Blinking, Cami shook her head. “It suddenly occurs to me why I haven’t met my Mr. Right. It’s very possible he doesn’t exist.”
Before Mia could respond, Cami employed a little of that redirection she seemed so proud of. “But let’s go back to you. Or, more specifically, you and Romeo.” The lawyer gave her a friendly nudge. “If there’s not going to be any first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Romeo pushing a baby carriage, that leaves the wild monkey sex.”
Blowing out a shaky breath, Mia admitted slowly, “For a...while now, I thought I’d jump at the chance for exactly that.”
“But?” Cami prompted.
“But...” She struggled to untangle her jumbled up thoughts. “But what if sex ruins the friendship we’ve built?”
ShecherishedRomeo’s friendship. It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. It was...easy. Comfortable. She felt like she’d known him forever, and yet she knew there were a million things she’d yet to learn about him.
Things shewantedto learn about him.
Things she thought she could spendyearsfiguring out.
“What if...” She hesitated and had to swallow the discomfort that tried to strangle her. “What if he ends up being disappointed in me?” When she saw Cami’s eyebrows draw together, she was quick to explain. “I mean, I’m not a virgin or anything. But I’m sure my body count is nowherenearhis, and what if I don’t have enough experience to—”
“Nope.” Cami interrupted her by raising one red tipped finger. “Sex isn’t rocket science. It’s not like there are unfathomable mysteries that you’ve yet to comprehend. Sex is sex. Are there things Romeo has tried that you haven’t? Probably. But that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to do it and do itwell.”
Mia thought back to the last man she’d slept with. He’d been a fellow marine archeologist helping her on a sunken city site off the coast of Greece. If the number of times he’d come knocking at the door of her trailer after a hard day’s diving was anything to go by, Cami was right. Miadidknow how to do it and do it well.
That, or Mia and Dr. Adam Chasson hadbothbeen too inexperienced to know when sex sucked.
“In my experience,” Cami continued, “the only thing that disappoints a man sexually is when the person he’s with isn’t having a good time.” She slid Mia a sly glance. “Something tells me Romeo will make sure you’re having a good time. And if he doesn’t”—she narrowed her eyes—“I trust you’ll tell him what needs to be done. Because I’ve noticed you’re one to hold your tongue, but take it from me, the last place you should remain mum is in the bedroom.”
Mia felt one corner of her mouth twitch. “If only I had your way with words.”
“Oh, that part is easy.” Cami waved a hand. “You just have to immerse yourself in sarcasm and bullshit until you’re fluent.”
Mia’s lip-twitch turned into a full-on chuckle.
“But back to your first concern,” Cami pressed ahead with barely a pause. “When it comes to the friendship part, I think the answer is simple. Your friendship will morph into friends with benefits. My sister swears by the arrangement.”
Cami caught what she’d said and all the color drained from her cheeks. “Or...shesworeby it. Damn.” Her eyes reflected her inner pain when she looked at Mia. “How long until I remember to talk about her in the past tense?”
Empathy made Mia’s heart squeeze tight.
She remembered all too well the agony of slamming into the realization that people she loved were part of her past and would never again be part of her present. Those early days when she’d wake up and, for a couple of minutes, forget that Andy or her grandmother or her father was gone, and then…pow!...get hit once again with the reality of their loss.
Those days had beenagonizing.
Yet, there were times now that shemissedthat phase of mourning. Because while it was horrendous to be forced to face the finality of death time after time, sometimes that was better than the constant ache once the knowledge truly set in.
“It’s different for everyone,” she said quietly. “When you have the time to prepare, like I did with my grandmother when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, I used the past tense pretty quickly after she was gone. For my father, who died of a sudden heart attack, it took me a lot longer to get there.”
Cami cocked her head. “And what about with your brother?”
Mia had to close her eyes when the backs of her eyeballs began to burn. Even after ten years, talk of Andy’s death still pushed her inexplicably close to tears. “A few months, I think. My little brother was never mentally healthy, so...”
She trailed off when she realized what she’d said wasn’t true, strictly speaking.
