“Shhh, Mom,” Chrissy soothed. “That was a long time ago. And it was his loss, not yours.”
“It doesn’t seem so long ago,” Josephine protested. “And if it weren’t for you, baby girl, I swear I would wish I could go back to the day I met him and walk the other way.”
“Oh, Momma. I’m so—”
“And I owe you an apology,” Josephine kept on as if Chrissy weren’t talking. Her moments of mental clarity were few and far between now, and it seemed she was determined to say whatever it was she wanted to say before she slipped into oblivion again. “I’m sorry I kept dragging men into your life and letting you fall in love with them only for them to leave. I think…” Her mother’s brow puckered. “I think I kept trying to find it again. That wild, passionate love I felt for Jake. And I just… I never could.” She blew out a soft sigh. “Maybe that’s why they all ended up leaving. Maybe they could tell I didn’t love them the way I loved your father.”
“No,” Chrissy whispered. “They left because they were liars and cheaters. None of them were good enough for you.”
Her mother grabbed her hand with more strength than Chrissy would’ve thought she had in her ravaged body. “Don’t follow in my footsteps, baby girl.” Josephine’s eyes burned with desperation. “Find yourself a good man. One who makes you laugh. Who makes you shine. Who appreciates what a beautiful, kind, intelligent woman you are. Find a man who knows once he has you, that doesn’t mean he gets to stop doing all the things it took to get you. One who’s steady enough to put in the work even when the sparkle fades and the dust settles in.”
“Okay, Mom.” Chrissy smoothed the blankets over her mother’s gaunt shoulders. The last thing she wanted to talk about, orthinkabout, was her love life. She had far more important matters to deal with. Namely, making her mother’s last few days as peaceful as possible.
“You’re such a smart woman, Chrissy. So much smarter than I ever was.” Chrissy opened her mouth to protest, but Josephine pushed ahead. “Use that, kiddo. Use that big brain to make better decisions than I did.”
“I will.” She tried to smile reassuringly, but it felt tremulous. “I promise I will.”
All the fervor went out of her mother then. Josephine closed her eyes and slipped into sleep.
It was the last conversation the two of them had. Twenty-four hours later, Chrissy’s mother was dead…
Horrified, she jolted awake. The dream that was really a memory was painfully close to the surface, bringing with it the rawness of her grief, the soul-crushing depth of her loss.
In the early days following her mother’s death, she’d had the dream often. Her unconscious brain reliving those last awful hours of Josephine’s life. But as the years had gone on, Chrissy’s dreams had softened, tending toward thehappytimes the two of them had shared. Thehealthytimes.
Maybe that’s why she was so shaken now. Because it’d been so long. Because she’d forgotten the razor-sharp sting of fresh remorse.
With her heartbeat slowly settling, and taking the deep breaths she’d learned helped push her through the worst of her mourning, she glanced at the subtle light streaming in through the slats of the shutters.
Not even six A.M., she thought.Too early to be awake.
And yet a sparrow chirped outside. Somewhere nearby, a rooster crowed.
What are birds so happy about at the butt-crack of dawn?she wondered irritably. The dream had left her feeling raw and exposed. And thoughts of the night before made her angry.
Jill Jones…The name sounded blasphemous inside her head.
To think, she’d come to view Jill as a friend. Someone she could call on in times of trouble. Someone who’d be there to offer a strong shoulder and a sympathetic smile.
It was unfathomable. Unthinkable.Unforgivable.
Bitter tears clawed at the backs of her eyes as she turned onto her side, her gaze landing on Wolf. He lay on his back with his face turned toward her.
She took the opportunity to study him. To appreciate the darkness of his eyelashes fanned across the crests of his high cheekbones. To trace the subtle curve of his nose with her yes. To drink in the sight of his wide mouth while it was relaxed in sleep.
He was a beautiful man. Fierce-looking and masculine without being brutish.
The tension and aggravation andhurtslipped out of her when she thought back on all the times over the last day when he’d touched her or kissed her. When he’d whispered dirty words in her ear and brought her to completion with his hands and his mouth and his body.
His lovemaking had made more of a woman of her than she’d ever been. Soft and malleable. Exactly the thing she’d always sworn she’d never become.
Oh, yes. Her hardened resolve. Her willful resistance. Her distrustful heart. Less than a day as his lover and he’d obliterated the first two and laid total claim to the third.
The instant she had the thought, her breath froze in her lungs. A school of bait fish bumped around in her belly.
Hehadclaimed her heart, hadn’t he?
Despite her best efforts, she’d gone and fallen in love with him. But not only that. She wildly and passionately loved the verybonesof him.
