She winces and stares out at Yard, who is happily slobbering all over his chew toy.
What must it be like to be so innocent? To live with no complications?
If reincarnation is a thing, I want to come back as a dog. I’ll spend my days eating and napping and chasing a tennis ball. There’ll be no misunderstandings. No years of guilt and shame and remorse.
“I’ve always been jealous of Eva.” Her cheeks are tinged a pretty shade of pink. “She was the one you talked to, the one you leaned on…afterward.”
“She was my best friend,” I whisper.
“And I was yoursister, Maggie. We shared the same tragedy, the same loss, but you wouldn’t evenlookat me and—” She chokes on a sob.
“Oh, Vee!” My arms go around her neck. It’s like the sun coming out after a bad storm when I feel her hug me back. “Icouldn’tlook at you. Every time I did, every time I saw the tears on your cheeks or the haunted look in your eyes, I was reminded that Mom and Dad were gone because of me.”
“I swear I never blamed you.” Her voice is hoarse. I suspect her tears are wetting my hair, like mine are wetting hers. “I’m so sorry if I ever did anything to make you feel like I did.”
“No.I’msorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t share my grief with you, or let you share yours with me. Ihatethinking of you crying by yourself.”
“The aunts were there. But I…” She swallows noisily. “I would’ve preferred my sister.”
Again, I sputter how sorry I am. Then, for a good, long stretch, we blubber in each other’s arms, sharing all those old hurts, all those old miseries like we should have done all along. Our tears wash away the years, the misunderstandings, leaving me wrung out and yet strangely refreshed.
When we push back to stare at each other, I whisper, “I love you. I never stopped. Not even for one second.”
“I love you too, Magpie.” She smiles tremulously and then laughs when the old nickname sends me into another bawl-a-thon.
This time she doesn’t join me in the waterworks. She simply puts an arm around my shoulders and lets me cry it out as she keeps the porch swing swaying with repeated pushes of her toe. When I’ve finally dried up, she tilts her head against mine, like she used to do when we were kids.
“We should’ve had a heart-to-heart a long time ago,” she says. “Just think of all we’ve missed.”
“Folks fall into patterns,” I say unhappily. “They’re hard to break, especially if you throw confusion and hurt feelings into the mix.”
“True,” she agrees. “And speaking of patterns, maybe it’s time you broke your pattern with Cash. Auntie June is right, you know. The only way you’ll be able to untangle your feelings for Luc and Cash is if you give Luc a chance to show you all he’s got to offer. He can’t compete with your memories of Cash unless you let him make some memories of his own.”
“You’re saying that because you don’t like Cash.”
“That’s not true.”
When I dip my chin and give her acome onlook, she sighs.
“Okay, fine. From the beginning I knew he would break your heart. I tried to warn you. I told you he was no good. But you wouldn’t listen.”
Yes. She did tell me. And yes. I didn’t listen. By that point, I’d already fallen in love. Young hearts are so eager, aren’t they?
“How could you have known right from the start? He was the new kid at school. You didn’t know him well enough to be able to form an opinion. Unless…” I frown. “Maybe you looked at the black eye he was sporting that first day and judged a book by its cover?”
She doesn’t answer me right away, instead frowning down at her no-chip manicure. It’s a pinkish red that reminds me of the strawberry wine Cash brought to the picnic we had in the park the week before he and Luc joined the army.
It wasLucwho took my glass away from me when I started to get drunk. He was also the one to buy me a cup of coffee and then sit with me while I sobered up. Dear, sweet Luc…always looking out for me.
“I knew because he was supposed to meetmeat the diner,” Vee eventually says. “I was the one who invited him there.”
My heart plummets. I remember her being in the diner that day. She was sitting in the big booth at the back with all of her friends.
“Oh my gosh,Vee.” My throat is too tight for anything more than a whisper. “I had no idea.”
“I know you didn’t. How could you? But that’s how I knew he was a heartbreaker. And then, not even two years later, he went and proved me right, didn’t he?”
I’m still reeling from her revelation, from the thought of Cash walking into that diner for her and then walking out with me. Howawfulthat must have made her feel.
