“If I ask you something, will you promise to tell me the truth?” she whispered.
Wariness flashed in his eyes, but still he vowed, “No more lies, Sonya. I swear it. Never again.”
“If Rock hadn’t said that thing about appropriating Grafton’s car, would you have told me who you really are?”
His expression remained unreadable—he was far too good at that—but after a couple of tense seconds he blew out a deep breath. “No.”
She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from gaping. To hear him admit it was… There were no words.
“I knew how much the truth would hurt you, and I wanted to save you from that. From this.” He made a motion back and forth between them.
Her teeth set. “Are you seriously trying to convince me you were going to lie to me for…maybe forever, and it was all for my own good?”
“No.” He shook his head, and the move had her eyes snagging on his short hair. If he’d let his hair grow long, if she’d touched it and twined her fingers through his soft curls, would she have known he was Mark sooner? “That is not what I am saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“After everything we sacrificed, I wanted only happiness for you, for us. I wanted you to fall in love with me again because of the man I am now, not the man I was ten years ago. I wanted nothing to stand in the way of what we can have together because I love you, Sonya.”
She closed her eyes as her chin quivered, all her anger draining away as if he’d pulled the plug. I love you. They were such beautiful words. And yet…they were an assault on her ears. On her heart.
He’d given her his truth. Now it was her turn. “I don’t know if I still love you. I don’t know if I can love you. I don’t know you anymore.”
“Don’t say that. Sonya, please.” He pulled her into his arms.
She let him. Heaven help her, she let him because she was in agony and she needed the comfort he offered. Then she did something she swore she wouldn’t do. She let the tears come.
But she wasn’t crying for him. She was crying for them. For what could have been and what would never be.
The whoosh of the plane’s flaps engaging sounded a second before the aircraft jolted and bounced as the wheels touched the ground. When the pilot applied the brakes, she tightened her arms around Angel’s waist, wondering if this would be the last time she held him.
The private jet came to a stop, and the sound of activity from inside the fuselage drifted beneath the bifold door. She waited until a soft knock sounded before slipping from Angel’s embrace. Opening the door, she saw Rock standing on the threshold. He had his John Deere baseball cap crumpled between his hands.
“Your…uh…your plane is here,” he told her before flicking a tortured look Angel’s way. “The pilots say they’re ready to get goin’ whenever you are.”
She thanked him, and after she’d watched him walk down the aisle, she turned back to Angel. Angel, Angel, Angel. He is Angel now. Mark Risa’s heart might not have taken a bullet that day by the river, but he had died all the same. Angel’s dark eyes moved over her face, over her mouth. His impenetrable mask had slipped. She caught a quick glimpse at the anguish inside him and closed her eyes against it. She couldn’t deal with his pain. She was having enough trouble dealing with her own.
“Thank you. Thank you for everything you did for me today,” she told him. “Thank you for saving me from Grafton. Thank you for finally telling me the truth and—”
“Sonya, please don’t go,” he interrupted.
“No.” She shook her head, opening her eyes so he could see the determination in them. “I have to go. I need time and space.”
The muscle in his jaw went to town. She could tell he wanted to argue, but he held his tongue.
Before she turned to leave, she offered him a small smile. She tried to make her voice kind and forgiving when she said, “We’ll always have Paris.”
He sucked in a ragged breath. When a lone tear slipped from his right eye and slid down his beard-stubbled cheek, she couldn’t take one more second of the torture. She left the lavatory, left the plane, and left behind the only man she’d ever loved.
Chapter 36
Northwestern Memorial Hospital
Chicago, Illinois
Three weeks later…
