“Never mind.” She turned her back on the three men, heading toward the rear of the plane.
“Christian?” She pulled the curtain aside to find him sitting on the end of the narrow bed, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
He didn’t say anything, simply nodded his head and grabbed her wrist. Dragging her next to himon the narrow bed, he pressed her down into the mattress, then turned to spoon her. With his big body wrapped around her, he whispered into her hair, “Just lie here with me. I want to hold you for a while.”
So that’s what she did. She lay with him, feeling his solid heartbeat against her back, hearing him breathe, caressing the arm tucked securely around her waist, and reveling in the warmthof his skin. After a while, she pulled the granola bar from her pocket and reached back to wiggle it in front of his face. “You need to eat.”
She felt him shake his head. “Not hungry.”
“Eat.” She wiggled the bar again. “That’s not a request.”
His put-upon sigh gusted against the back of her hair, but he grabbed the granola bar and rolled onto his back. “You’re bossy,” he accused.
“I prefer the termstrong-willed.” She turned onto her side to face him. Going up on her elbow, she cupped her chin in her hand and watched him tear open the wrapper. “Does that intimidate you?”
“What?” He took a giant bite, and the smell of chocolate and nuts filled the small space. “That you’re strong-willed?”
She nodded.
“Please.” He made a face as he chewed. “Strong-willed womenintimidate boys. Theyexcitemen.”
“Good answer.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. But too soon his expression sobered, turned haunted.
“I meant what I said earlier,” she murmured. “None of what happened tonight was your fault.”
She’d drill it into his head if she had to. Tell him over and over until he finally believed it and the hurt left his eyes.
She couldn’t bear that look. Ithit her right in the ol’ love muscle and made her far too aware of all those bright, sparkly feelings.Dangerousfeelings.Deceitfulfeelings because, sure, right now they seemed like they’d always be with her, but she knew from experience how quickly they faded.
“You were fearless tonight,” she told him. “And fair. And above all else,brave.”
He scoffed. “There are loads of things youcan say about what it means to kill a man. Brave isn’t one of them.”
“Do you always suffer…um…” She wrinkled her nose. “I guess the word isremorse…afterward?”
“Killing should never rest easy on anyone’s shoulders.”
Her mind drifted back to Angel, unrepentant and on his way to a good night’s sleep. “Agreed. But that doesn’t answer my question.”
“No.” He shook his head, chewingand swallowing. “I don’t generally regret it. Perhaps because anytime I’ve ever taken a life it was to protect my fellow soldiers or teammates.”
“Which is exactly what happened tonight.”
“Perhaps,” he allowed.
“No.” She scowled at him. The only lights in the sleeping cubby were on the floor. A whole line of them on either side of the cabin led the way to the nearest exit. But theygave off enough glow to cast his face in shadows, making his high cheekbones, his broad forehead, and his wide jaw seem that much more impressive. “Notperhaps. Certainly. Positively. Without a doubt. You did everything you could to reason with Lawrence, and you did theonlything you could when he came after me with that knife.”
“I just keep thinking there had to have been another way. Withfour of us, could we have somehow subdued him?”
“You mean before or after he’d gutted me?” She lifted a brow.
A hint of a smile pulled at his lips. She wanted to turn it into afullsmile. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But perhaps—”
“And there’s that word again,” she interrupted him. “How about I make you a deal?”
He groaned around a mouthful of granola bar. “Another one?”
