Chapter 13
Mark that round a win for Watson, Christian thought, watching Emily struggle to organize her thoughts and ignore their most recent—and smashingly heated—exchange.
Helikedthat she was having difficulty getting herself situated. Helikedthat he could knock her off-balance. And he liked most of all that she’d admitted to wanting him. If it wouldn’t have made the othersin the manor house come running to investigate, he would have howled his triumph at the ceiling.
“Are you quite finished gloating?” she demanded, shooting darling little eye-daggers at him.
“Almost.” He indulged in a deep, satisfied sigh.
“You are the most infuriating man. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “You.On many occasions.”
“Well, the truth can neverbe overstated.” She hugged her knees tighter to her chest and tried to scowl him into some sort of submission.
He widened his smile and gave her earlier words back to her. “Are we gonna do this thing or not? I ain’t got all day.”
She looked like she was sucking on a lemon. “That’s a terrible impersonation of me.”
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
“Are you sayingIdo a bad impersonation ofyou?”
“You sound like a Kiwi, darling. With a tad bit of Australian and Scottish and maybe some Welsh thrown in for fun and confusion.”
“Humph.” She looked offended. It was delightful.
“Now,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. With his hands clasped together, he turned serious. “Tell me why you didn’t love this Richard bloke.”
Because he wasn’t you, Christian.He imagined those words tumbling out of her mouth and felt light as air. Which is probably why the landing hurt so much when her answer had him hurtling back to earth.
“Because I can’t love anyone. Not romantically, anyway.”
For a long time he stared at her, trying to make sense of her words. “So you’re saying, what? You’re like…a Vulcan or something?”
“You’ve been hanging around Ozzie too much,” she accused.
Ozzie, computer-hacker genius and all-around tech guru at Black Knights Inc., was also a true-blue Trekkie. The man had moreStar TrekT-shirts than Christian had pairs of socks. And Christian hadmanypairs of socks.
“Stop trying to change the subject,” he warned.
She twisted her lips. “But I thought you just said what’sgood for the goose is good for the gander?”
“Emily…”
She blew out a windy breath. “Fine.No, I’m not a Vulcan. I have feelings. Lots of feelings. Around you, those feelings tend to oscillate between annoyance and lust, which, if you must know, is altogether crazy-making. And stop it!” She pointed at his face. “Stop with the self-satisfied smiles every time I admit to having a thing foryour hot bod!”
He tried to wipe the grin from his face and failed.
She rolled her eyes. “But when it comes to love—romantic love, long-lasting love—I’m defective. It runs in my family. Now, whether that’s due to nature or nurture, or a mix of both, is anyone’s guess. I’m just saying it’s a fact, proven over three generations.”
She tilted her head. “Ever readIt Ends with Usby ColleenHoover?” She didn’t wait for his response. “No. Of course not. When do you have time to read?”
He didn’t. Not really. Except for the occasional car magazine while in the loo.
“Well, anyway…” She blazed ahead. “It’s this really sad yet really empowering tale of a woman who comes from an abusive household and then finds herself married to a man she deeply loves but who also turns out tobe abusive.
“In the end, she decides to stop giving her husband any second chances, to stop waiting for him to change, and instead to leave him and break the cycle of abuse. It ends withher. And like her, I’m determined to break the cycle of looking for love in all the wrong places, the cycle of marriage and divorce and marriage and divorce. I want to have kids someday. And I don’t want themto get fucked over by me the way I got fucked over by my parents. It ends withme.”
