Chapter 25
Christian breathed deeply of the springtime air. It was the city, so the smells of concrete, the Chicago River, and car exhaust were there. But it was overwhelmed by the scents of budding trees, flowering window boxes, and Emily. Her exotic shampoo caught on the breeze and drifted toward him.
He smiled from the Adirondack chair he’d pulled next to her chaise longue. Thecourtyard behind the big, brick warehouse was covered in gray flagstones, pocked by various outbuildings, and surrounded by a ten-foot-high brick wall. But he could still see the city gleaming on the other side of the river as day turned into night.
Strange that for the first time in his life, and in a place thousands of miles from where he’d been born, he’d finally found somewhere that feltlike home. Or rather someonewho felt like home. And it was time to get her to admit that he wasn’t alone in those feelings. He’d spent a month laying the groundwork. Now, he would begin constructing the future, theforeverhe knew was ready and waiting for both of them.
As soon as she admits she loves me, he thought, taking a slow drink of his old-fashioned and letting the whiskey imbue himwith liquid courage. She swore she would only say the words to the man she would spend the rest of her life with. He intended for that man to be him.
“So let’s revisit the friends-with-benefits subject,” he said, pulling a cherry from his drink and popping it into his mouth. The taste was sweet. But it was nothing compared to Emily’s candied kisses.
Oh, how hemissedher kisses.
“Why?”She turned to him. The lights attached to the perimeter wall cast her face in a soft, golden glow. “Like I said last night, given the way you feel about me, it wouldn’t be right.”
“That might be true except for the fact thatyoufeel the same way aboutme.”
She sucked in a startled breath, and his heart raced. This was his moment. It was do or die.
“Do you deny it?” he asked, casuallyswirling the ice in his drink, which was a feat since the last thing he felt was casual.
For a long time, she simply looked at him. Then she swallowed and glanced away. “So what if I do? That doesn’t change anything.”
Now his heart wasn’t racing; it was thumping at light speed.So close.He was so bloody close. “How can you say that?”
She swung back to him, anguish contorting her prettyface. “Because even if I feel that way about younow, there’s no guarantee I’ll feel that way about you two months from now or two years from now or two decades from now. I’m a bad bet. Don’t you see?” A lone tear trekked down her silky cheek, past that beauty mark that would forever drive him mad. She angrily wiped the droplet away. “And if and when things fall apart between us, where will thatleave me? You’ve been with the Black Knights a lot longer than I have, so which one of us will they choose?You, not me. And then I won’t just lose my job, I’ll lose the people I’ve come to think of as family.”
A second tear leaked from the corner of her eye, and in that moment, his heart bled for her. He considered letting the conversation lie and walking back into the shop. But no. Thatwould be allowing her fear to win against them both.
She might not be able to stand up to it, but he sure as shit could.
“You know as well as I do, Emily,” he said, setting his glass aside and pushing up from the Adirondack chair to sit on the end of her chaise longue, “that in life there are no guarantees.”
“Exactly.” She nodded emphatically. “So why risk it?”
“Because the rewardoutweighs the risk.” He grabbed her drink and set it on the Adirondack’s armrest beside his. Then he took her hands and found her fingers cold and shaking.Poor chit. She really is terrified.Which meant he needed to be strong, have enough courage for the both of them. Time to swallow his pride and lay it all on the line. “Because we’ve a chance at the real deal here, the golden ring, a long andhappy life together filled with great love and epic sex and—”
“Bickering and squabbles,” she interrupted.
“Precisely.” A smile tugged at his lips. “Nothing will ever be easy between us. We’re both obstinate. We’re both bossy. We’re both used to having our way, so it’ll be a challenge. We willchallengeeach other, Emily. And it will be tough at times. But nothing worth having ever comeseasily.”
Her chin trembled as she searched his eyes. “But what if I’m like my parents and grandparents? What if I don’t have it in me to stick?”
“You’re not like them,” he told her emphatically.
“How can you be sure?”
“Because you’ve spent your whole life holding the wordsI love youdear. If you were anything like your parents or grandparents, those words would have fallen fromyour lips as easily asgood morningorpass the salt.”
She shook her head. He could see she wanted to believe him, but decades of doubt—and a shitty-ass upbringing—were holding her back. “But what about Richard Neely? If I couldn’t make it last with him, what makes you so sure I can make it last with you?”
The name alone was enough to make Christian grit his teeth. And it wasn’t that Emilyhad cared for the wanker; it was that Neely had been a stupid, dictatorial prat who’d made Christian’s plight harder.
“Because Neely wasn’t the man for you. He tried to smother you. But I’ve no need to control you, Emily.” He couldn’t help his devilish smirk. “At least not anywhere besides the bedroom. Ifancyyour independence, your grit and courage and fire.”
“But will you still likeit ten years from now?” She gripped his hands hard, searching his eyes. “What if you’re right? What if I let myself do this with you, and thenyouchangeyourmind and stop lovingme?”
“Won’t happen.” He shook his head. “I’m the forever type of bloke. What’s mine stays mine. You need to understand that. The only way out of this for me is a body bag, hopefully sixty-some years from now.”
