Reaching up with one hand, he undid the buckle and tossed his beltaside.
Free from her restraints, she traced the hard bulge of his shoulders, let her fingers trail down the groove his back muscles created of his spine, and stopped at the hard, puckered scar on his back where the round he’d taken to the gut during the shoot-out at the Iraqi roadblock had gone through his body.
When she lightly followed its dimension with her fingertips, he trembled andstopped moving above her. Instead, he dropped his lips to her neck to place a hot, openmouthed kiss against her pulse point.
He’d suffered so much in his life. Too much. And yet it hadn’t broken him or hardened him. Through it all, he had managed to stay tough yet tender, strong yet sweet.
Yes,sweet. Because as surly and grumpy and gruff as he could be, the truth was he’d never treatedher with anything less than gentleness. No matter how she’d teased him or wheedled him, he’d never made her feel disrespected or dismissed.
All those bright, sparkly feelings coalesced and fused inside her. She felt theboomof their atomic explosion deep in her chest. Tears pricked traitorously behind her eyes.
It was too much.Hewas too much.
“Emily,” he whispered, pushing up onhis forearms. His bright eyes cut though the gloom of the sleeping compartment like laser beams, and the white of the bandage against his black tattoos stood out in fierce contrast. “I—”
He cut himself off.
“What?” she prompted, turning to kiss the scar on the inside of his forearm, hoping her lips eased the pain that had stayed with him all these years.
He groaned, his eyelids flutteringshut. When he opened them again, she saw something she didn’t recognize, some strange emotion shining back at her. “Nothing,” he whispered, shaking his head.
She would have pressed him further, but she was too preoccupied with the need for him to move. Hehadto start moving again. Nothing had ever felt so delicious as when he was moving above her, within her.
He claimed her mouth in akiss that turned her thoughts formless. They became nothing more than golden, glorious blobs that pulsed like drumbeats. And then… Oh, and then he began to thrust again. Slow at first. Then building the momentum.
His tongue surged into her mouth in rhythm to the beat of his body. Her hands curled around the hard, firm globes of his ass as his hips pistoned in long, purposeful jabs that pushedher pleasure ever higher.
Cries built in the back of her throat and were caught in the heat of his mouth. She grabbed his shoulders, her nails biting into his tough, tattooed flesh, and held on for dear life. He grunted her name over and over again, his voice guttural, barely human, and in complete contrast to his usual cultured, controlled words.
And then it happened. He grabbed her knee,pulling her leg up high against his flank, changing the angle of his thrusts. The pull and push of his rigid flesh became too much. Her sheath tightened as her heart swelled.
No, no, no. Not her heart.It couldn’t be her heart. It had to be—
He shortened his strokes, quickened his hips, and shocked her into taking the plunge. Suddenly, she was weightless and falling, pleasure unlike anythingshe had ever known exploding through her in a series of bright, incandescent blasts.
Her first contraction triggered his release. His back bowed, straining, he locked himself inside her, and the pulse of him drove her orgasm to new heights. She must’ve screamed his name, because he put his hand over her mouth. He was definitely yelling her name, so she slappedherhand overhismouth. Lockedtogether, they stroked and strove to wring the last ounce of pleasure from each other’s bodies.
Eventually, they collapsed in a heap. For long moments all they could do was try to catch their breath as the wonder and glory of what they’d done hit Emily. Being with Christian was unlike anything she’d ever known. It was profound. Intense.
After what seemed like hours, he pressed a tenderkiss to the bruise on her temple, still so hard and large inside her.
Cupping her face, he used his thumb to tilt up her chin. For a second, he simply held her wondering gaze. Then he whispered the three words she never wanted to hear from him. “I love you.”
Everything inside her that had been hot and gooey froze into a solid block of ice.
* * *
I’m the world’s biggest fool.
That single thought circled ’round and ’round in Christian’s head as Emily pushed at his shoulders, demanding, “Damnit, Christian! Get off me!”
With reluctance, he rolled onto his side. Slipping from the heat and tight comfort of her body was agony. Knowing this first time he was with her might very well be the last time was even worse.
Why had he said that?
Oh right. Because what they’ddone together was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It hadn’t only been shagging. It’d been love. They’d madelove.He’dmade love for the first time in his life, and it’d been radiant, soul touching. He was changed for it. And he’d thought…
He’d thought she was too. He’d been sure he’d seen love shining up at him from her dark, slumberous eyes. Sure he’d tasted it in the hungry sweetnessof her kisses. Sure he’d felt it in the way she touched him, lovingly smoothing her fingers and lips over all his scars, and then holding him like she never wanted to let them go. Like she was trying to crawl inside him to become part of him once and for all. Like she’d allowedhimto crawl inside her, to make a place for himself in her heart.
