“Do you love her?” Ozzie asked, casually sipping his beer. The keen intelligence in Ozzie’s eyes was anything but nonchalant, however. If Dagan lied, Ozzie would know.
“I thought I did.” Anguish grabbed his heart and squeezed it in a fist. He ran a hand over his beard and shook his head. “No. IknowI did. I still do, but—”
“No buts,” Becky cut him off. “When it comes to love, there’s no weakness in forgiveness.”
Dagan blew out a blustery breath and stared at the ceiling where ducts and exposed piping created a lofty, industrial feel. The image of Chelsea’s face, her gorgeous eyes pleading with him, flared to life in his mind’s eye. “She’s not the woman I thought I knew.” It came out as a whisper.
“Of course she is.”
“No.” He shook his head.
Looking at Ozzie and Becky, his teammates, hisfriends, he begged them with his eyes to understand. Judging by Ozzie’s mouth, which was in full-blown lemon-sucking disapproval mode, and Becky’s stare, which was hot enough to blister paint, theydidn’t.
Becky spoke up. “She was put in an impossible position. If she had told the truth, Edens would have ruined her. You would still have been out of a job, because Edens would have had you fired to save his own ass. And honestly, if she hadn’t been smart enough to look at the Intel in the first place and see the incongruities in the information your asset had passed you, you would’ve still been in the same boat. So I don’t understand why—”
“I get it!” Dagan yelled, once again shoving his hands in his pockets, but this time it was to keep from pulling out his own hair. “And I could get past all of that. She followed a bad order that ended in a bad outcome, and her boss was holding a job she desperately needed over her head, so she kept her mouth shut. Believe me, I understand all of that. Iknowwhat it is to be responsible for a family member’s happiness. Iknowwhat it’s like to have to make a decision that goes against your better judgment because you’re desperate for money. Avan and that whole mess with Senator Aldus ring a bell? Anyone? Anyone?” Ozzie and Becky just blinked at him.
“What Ican’tget past is her not telling me until after we…until after I…” His voice trailed off. “She should have told me once it was safe to. Sheshouldhave. She was just too damned scared. And that’snotthe Chelsea Duvall I fell in love with.”
For several seconds, the only sound in the room was the murmur of the television. Another commercial was on, this one hawking a pain medication. Then, quietly Ozzie observed, “Shame and guilt make people do the damnedest things.”
Becky was a little less subtle and hit Dagan over the head with “You don’t really love her.”
His heart skipped a beat. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
“If you really loved her, you’d kiss her tears and bumps and bruises the same way you kiss her lips. You’d stand by her side when she’s at her absolute worst and doesn’t think she deserves it. Real love is hard and messy and painful. Real love is sticking around when the ugly parts make you want to run away.”
He opened his mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again. Before he could get in a word edgewise, Becky continued. “You thought Chelsea was perfect. You had her up on this pedestal. And boo-hoo, now she’s fallen off, proved she’s a human being. Poor you. But, you know what? If you really, truly loved her, you’d frickin’ sac up and—”
“Becky.” There was a warning growl in Dagan’s voice. “Tell me where she is.”
Becky’s expression remained mutinous, but eventually she said, “She’s home. In South Carolina. She told me she needed to spend some time with her mother. Said they had a lot to talk about.”
“What’s the address?”
“I don’t know off the top of my head. But I have it on file somewhere.”
“Good.” He started for the door. “Get it for me while I’m packing my saddlebags.” And then, to prove hewasn’tegotistical and pigheaded, he added, “Please.”
“Your saddlebags?” Ozzie called to his back. “Are you planning torideto South Carolina? That’s a hell of a long way, and it’s only fifty degrees outside.”
“Well I have a hell of a lot to think about and sort through, don’t I? And maybe the cold will help clear my damned head!”
Chapter 51
Beauford, South Carolina
“Momma, will you please come sit down?” Chelsea patted the spot beside her on the porch swing. “You’re making me nervous running around like a chicken with its head cut off. And you’re making the installation men crazy, asking all those questions.”
“Well, Chelsea Lynn, I just want to make sure they don’t do any more damage than is necessary. Your daddy and I put up every one of these boards with our bare hands, and I—”
Chelsea looked at the trio of men in their matching blue coveralls and subtly put-upon expressions and stopped her mother right then and there. “They’re professionals, Momma. They’re going to do a wonderful job.”
Her mother narrowed her eyes. Then, with a harrumph, she joined Chelsea on the porch swing. “Thank you,” she said, accepting the glass of sweet iced tea Chelsea handed her.
They both pushed off, setting the swing gently rocking as the security system crew traipsed around the side of the house to pick out the locations of the cameras they would be installing. The evening air was crisp, ripe with the smell of the freshly turned earth in the flower beds and the tangy brightness of newly budding trees. Chelsea closed her eyes and breathed deeply, hoping the familiar smells of home would bring her a measure of peace. But instead, they just made her sad.
On second thought, that wasn’t right. The smells of home didn’t make her sad. She justwassad and—
