Dagan stared at her for a long moment. She thought she could actually hear the clock on the wall ticking away the seconds, even above the rattle of fifty keyboards and the sound of her own blood rushing through her ears. The look on his face broke her low-down, no-good, cowardly heart. Just broke it in two and then stomped on the pieces until they shattered.
“Good knowing you, Agent Duvall.” Dagan tipped his chin, allowing the guards to accompany him from the room.
She watched him go, watched his broad back disappear behind the opaque glass doors. It felt like her world had been turned upside down. She had the sneaking suspicion it would never be set right again.
“Chelsea,” Dagan breathed her name against her lips, dragging her back to the present, to theamazingpresent when he held her so tightly in his arms.
She could feel the raging beat of his heart against her breast, the gentleness of his hands as he canted her head to gain better access to her mouth. Tears burned behind her eyes. Tears of regret, tears of heartbreak. Oh, she wanted so much to give in, to let him take her and make her his own.
And really, what was stopping her?
He never had to know. If she kept the Big Bad Secret, she just might be able to keep him too and—
She squashed the thought before she could finish it. “Dagan.” She turned her head to break the kiss. Thelastkiss. “I…have something to tell you.”
He nuzzled her cheek, the Beard wonderfully scratchy and warm. “What is it?” He dropped his hands to her hips, his long fingers flexing against her flesh, testing its resilience. He must have liked what he found because she felt him throb against her.
Her eyes screwed shut. Her toes curled. For a moment, she forgot what she needed to say. Forgot her ownname.
Was it possible to die from want?
He licked her earlobe into his mouth and groaned. “You taste as sweet as you smell. I’ve wanted you, wantedthisfor so long, but I never thought you…” His voice hitched. She felt that hitch in her soul. “After Afghanistan, I never dreamed that you might want me too.”
Afghanistan.
The word was a sledgehammer strike to her overheated brain, cooling her ardor and allowing her to focus on what she had to tell him. Allowing her to remember why she had no business being in his strong, warm, wonderful arms.
“I did s-something.” Her voice was shaky. “Something…unforgivable.”
He pulled back to look at her just as the first tear slipped past her defenses and slid, salty and wet, down her cheek. A look of gentle sympathy softened his harsh warrior’s face.
With a tenderness that stole her breath, a tenderness that she would later reflect on with a bone-deep ache, he removed her glasses and set them on the counter. She blinked until he came into focus, breath sawing out of her when he thumbed the tear from her cheek and stared into her eyes. “Everyone, and I do meaneveryone, has something in their past they’re not proud of, something they think is unforgivable.”
He was killing her with kindness! “But—”
He stopped her words with a kiss, his lips warm and gentle. “Shh. I don’t care. Whatever you’ve done, whatever you think you have to tell me, it can wait. Because Iache, Chels.”
He grabbed her hand and guided it to the source of his pain, then groaned and tilted his forehead against hers. His breath was hot when he said, “I’ve dreamed about getting you naked for so long, dreamed about making love to you in so many ways. Make my fantasies come true. Let me makeyourfantasies come true. And afterward, if you still feel the need to confess, I promise I’ll listen.”
He lifted her hand, kissing the end of each finger.
What could she do? The man of her dreams, the man she had loved for so many years that she’d lost count, the man she hadbetrayedwas asking one thing of her. And even though it was going to be her undoing to make love to him, to revel in the glory of his arms just this once and then never again, she couldn’t deny him. Shewouldn’tdeny him. Her mistake all those years ago had been to put herself—and her mother’s needs—first.
Now it was his turn. She would give him what he wanted.Everythinghe wanted with a smile on her face and a song of love in her heart.
And then afterward?
Well, afterward she would finally, irrevocably destroy herself.
Chapter 23
“Yes, Dagan.” Chelsea cupped his face in her cool, delicate hands and brought her mouth to his. “Yes.”
If he’d had a voice, he would have cried out. But the instant he heard that firstyes, the ability to speak eluded him. This woman…this beautiful, vibrant woman…was proof that God existed and was smiling down on him for no good reason.
There was a storm in his heart, a hurricane of happiness and love and desire and need. Whatever Chelsea wanted to tell him, whatever wrong she had committed, stood no chance against all of that. And he realized it didn’t matter that his future was a giant question mark. Because whatever he did, wherever he was,whoeverhe became once BKI was no longer in operation, one thing was for certain: he would be by Chelsea’s side.
“My sweet girl,” he murmured between kisses.
