“All evidence to the contrary,” he told her, again rubbing his hard length against the sultry juncture of her thighs.
“S-stop that,” she whispered. But he could tell her words didn’t match her wants when she wiggled her hips the tiniest bit to get the angle just right. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.”
“Why?” He watched her through half-lidded eyes, loving how passion had brought a rosy blush to the apples of her cheeks.
“Because I don’t understand,” she said exasperatedly.
To his great dismay, she sat up, taking the weight of her glorious breasts with her. She went to fist her hands on her hips, but her knuckles bumped intohishands. And he wasn’t letting go. Hell no, he was holding on for all he was worth. Which left her only one option. She crossed her arms.
Praise Jesus, he thought when the most delicious line of cleavage appeared above the V-neck of her purple sweater.
“Hey!” She snapped a finger in front of his face. “Pay attention.”
“Sorry. It’s hard to focus with all”—he waved in the general direction of her chest—“thatgoing on.”
She glanced down, saw what was holding him enthralled, and quickly uncrossed her arms.
“Damnit.” He frowned.
“I swear, all you men are the same. Put a pair of boobs in your face, and your IQ drops fifty points.”
“It’s biology, babe. Propagation of the species.”
“Whatever.” She adjusted her glasses. She looked absolutely adorable when she was being sincere. “I’m serious, Dagan. I need to know.”
“I’m sorry. My IQ is currently in the toilet… You need to know what?”
“Why you haven’t given me the time of day for years, but now, suddenly, you’ve turned into a kissy, handsy, bearded Don Juan. What gives?”
He could have told her everything. How he had wanted her from day one, but that Afghanistan had happened and his brother had happened and Senator Aldus had happened—and afterward he had never dreamed she would want anything to do with him. How he had continued to want her, to fantasize about her until his control had finally snapped back in Spider’s penthouse. How he had been, and still was, shocked as shit that she could know all his secrets and still want him, too. Yes, he could have told her all that.
Something held him back.
Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was shame. Or hell, maybe it was just self-preservation. Because if he laid himself open—ripped his ribs apart and exposed his heart—and she brushed him off, he wasn’t sure he would recover from the rejection.
“Professionalism,” he said.
She wrinkled her nose, causing her delightful cinnamon freckles to meld together. “Huh?”
“I didn’t make a move while we both worked for the Company because fraternization between employees was frowned upon. Same goes for after you became the liaison to BKI. We were coworkers. I had to respect that distinction.”
She narrowed her eyes, head canted to the side. He liked to call it her “thinking pose.” After a second she said, “But…aren’t westillcoworkers?”
He’d dug himself into a hole, and the only way out was to keep digging with the hope he could break through to the other side. “That’s a negative. The minute you uploaded that virus onto Morrison’s PC—and the minute the boys back at BKI began hacking his systems and finding the evidence to bring the asslick down—was the beginning of the end for BKI. I’d say I am now officially a civilian. And you, babycakes, are now officially back to being a CIA counterintelligence officer. So, no more conflicts.”
He winked even though he was sure to burn in hell for the lies he had just told.
Chapter 12
Death by a thousand cuts.
That’s what it felt like to sit there, straddling Dagan Zoelner, the man Chelsea had lusted after for years, and hear him admit that all that time he had wanted her too. Especially since there was no way she could act on all the chemistry bubbling between them, not with the Big Bad Secret flying around over her head.
The awful thing was always there. And when she least expected it to, it would dive-bomb her like the seagulls had that time her mom and dad took her to Hilton Head for Labor Day weekend. Back when there had been money for vacations. Back before hardship and struggle andresponsibilitybecame the be-all, end-all of life.
So, yup. She was going to have to do one of the hardest things ever. She was going to have to turn down the oh-so-sexy man of her dreams.
Trouble was, she cared about him too much to reject him outright. She didn’t want to hurt him. He’d been hurt enough. So she racked her brain for a way to let him down easy.
