Before he could nod, Emily piped up with, “If by care about he means tap that ass, then sure.”
A tsunami of anger crashed over him. He felt the tips of his ears ignite. “Excuse me? She’s my friend. And I’ll thank you not to reduce her to a sex object.”
“She might be your friend, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to eat her cake,” Michelle said. “What?” She lifted one sable-colored eyebrow when she saw the incredulity on his face. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, you think I don’t know about cake eating?” When he just blinked, a smile that was decidedly feline appeared on her lips. “Believe me I know all about cake eating. In fact—”
“Stop right there.” He lifted a hand.
“I suspect we all know about cake eating,” she continued. “How about it, ladies? Like having your cakes eaten? Thumbs up or thumbs down?”
“Thumbs up,” a duo of voices declared.
“Look at him,” Becky said, unwrapping a Dum Dum lollipop and plugging it into her mouth. “You can see the wheel is still turning, but his brain hamster frickin’ up and died of mortification.”
“You’re all going to catch pneumonia from the ice in your hearts,” he gritted between his teeth.
“Maybe we should give the poor guy a break,” Emily muttered. “He can’t help that God saddled him with a penis and a brain but only enough blood to supply one at a time.”
“That reminds me of a joke I recently heard,” Michelle said. “Why do men name their penises?”
“Ladies—” Ozzie tried to interrupt.
Michelle just barreled ahead. “Because they don’t want a stranger making ninety percent of their decisions for them!”
Cackles of laughter erupted.
“Stop! Stop!” Becky howled. “You’re ruining my mud mask! It’s cracking into a million pieces!”
“I’m melting! I’m melting!” Michelle did a dead-on impersonation of the Wicked Witch of the West.
“Enough!” Ozzie chopped his hand through the air. The two syllables echoed around the shop like blasts from a double-barrel shotgun. Three pairs of eyes blinked at him in surprise.
Damnit all! It was never his intention to raise his voice. Not with them.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, blowing out a deep breath and reaching down to massage away the shooting pain in his mangled thigh. “Look, I know it’s not ideal. I know you’re all under a lot of pressure right now, and the last thing you need or want is this. But I do care about her, okay? Despite what you might think of her chosen profession, she’s a good woman. And I want to help her through this. I need to help her through this. I’d appreciate your support.”
For a long time, silence ruled the room. It was only broken when Peanut, BKI’s mascot and former tomcat turned fat tub of lard, launched himself onto the conference table with a weird, grunt-like mrrreow. He slunk to the middle of the table where he collapsed as if he’d been held up by marionette strings that had suddenly been cut. His notched ears twitched. His crooked gray tail flicked back and forth. And he let loose with a very unfeline fart.
It effectively broke the tension hanging in the room.
“Dear sweet baby Jesus! You have to change his diet, Becky,” Emily said, waving a hand in front of her face. “At this point, he’s nothing but a fart factory.”
“The one who smelled it dealt it.” Becky grinned around her lollipop stick. She intentionally mispronounced smelled as smelt for a poetic touch.
“Don’t blame that on me!”
“The one who denied it supplied it!” Becky wheezed, doubling over with laughter. And despite everything, Ozzie felt his anger melt and his lips twitch.
This was what made Black Knights Inc. more than just a job. They were what made it more. And the thought that he would lose his spot in the fold because he was no longer able to—
“Okay, Ozzie,” Becky cut into his thoughts. Good thing. He was tired of the same old refrain. “We’ve got your back on this one. But if you do anything to jeopardize our men, I’ll—”
“You know I’d never do that,” he told her, a muscle twitching in his jaw, his blood simmering anew that she would even consider mentioning it.
“I do know.” She nodded. “But shi…uh…stuff happens. And just be aware, if it does, we’ll kick your butt up between your shoulder blades and make you wear it like a cape.”
“Great. Hunky-dory. And now that we have that all cleared up,” Michelle announced, pushing from the table, “I’m off to bed.”
Becky agreed, and the two of them stopped beside Ozzie on the way upstairs to impart private bits of advice.
