“A secret?” Ashley said, her voice teasing. “You think so?” She turned to smile at him, a smile full of adoration. “What doyouthink, Jeff? Is there a secret?”
He knew she was playing a game and wanted him to be a part of it. But he couldn’t be as lighthearted about the situation. He was confused and felt guilty. Which didn’t make sense because he’d been telling the truth when he’d said he would marry her. Hewantedto marry her. However, she thought he loved her.
Love. Jeff didn’t know what the word meant. Not anymore. Perhaps there had been a time when he’d been a part of a family, just like everyone else. Those long-ago memories didn’t have any place in his current reality. So when she said she loved him, he wasn’t sure if he understood what that meant.
He believed in Ashley’s capacity to love. He’d seen it firsthand with Maggie. Ashley was patient and caring. She’d seen him at his worst and she was still here. Wanting to be with him. Claiming to love him.
“Mommy, tell me!” Maggie pursed her lips together in a scowl. “I want to know!”
Ashley pulled her daughter onto her lap and hugged her. “Okay. It’s a really good secret. I think you’re going to be very happy.”
Maggie’s blue eyes widened. “Are we getting a kitten?”
“No. It’s better than that.”
Now that Ashley had Maggie’s attention, she hesitated. Jeff knew her well enough to know that she was searching for the right words. She wanted to explain the situation simply and in a way that left the four-year-old feeling safe.
He was glad he wasn’t the one who had to figure the best way to say it. Words had never been his strong suit. Actions had always been easier.
As Ashley started talking about how nice it had been to live in “Uncle Jeff’s” house, he studied them. The overhead kitchen light illuminated their faces, making the similarities between them easy to spot. How much would their child look like Ashley? Or would the child look like him?
The questions startled him, reminding him again of the fact that he and Ashley were going to have a baby together. He dropped his gaze to her flat stomach. A baby grew in there. He was still stunned that he’d been able to get her pregnant. Now that she and Maggie were going to be a permanent part of his world, he was determined to take care of them.
“Well,” Ashley was saying, “what if we never had to leave Uncle Jeff’s house? What if we lived here for always?”
Maggie looked at him, her rosebud mouth parting. “We can stay? Promise?”
His throat tightened. The sensation was unfamiliar. “I’d like that.”
Ashley tucked a curl behind her daughter’s ear. “Maggie, I love you very much. I will always love you.”
“I know, Mommy. I love you, too.”
“I also love Jeff. And he loves us. I’m going to marry him.”
Jeff waited, his throat tight, his heart seemingly still. He and Ashley had discussed waiting to tell Maggie about the baby. She would need time to get used to her new family before having to adjust to having a younger sibling.
Maggie looked at him. “Will you be my daddy when you and Mommy get married?”
Odd feelings crashed through him. He couldn’t identify any of them so he didn’t know what they meant. However, they made it tough to talk. He had to swallow a couple of times before he could get out the words.
“Would you like that?”
She threw herself at him. “When we went to church on Easter I asked God to send me a new daddy, and he did!”
Her small arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Her weight settled on his body. He hugged her back. With a fierceness that surprised him, he vowed to himself he would always keep this precious child safe. If that wasn’t love, it was the best he could do.
“So you’re okay with this?” Ashley asked. “You’re happy that I’m marrying Jeff?”
“Daddy,” Maggie said, planting a sticky kiss on his cheek. “You’re marrying Daddy.”
Tears filled Ashley’s eyes. She wrapped her arms around them both. For the first time in many years, Jeff felt as if he was a part of something important and special. Daddy. The word felt both odd and right.
He shifted so he could reach his suit jacket, hanging behind him on the chair back. In the right outside pocket was a small box. He’d stopped to pick it up on his way home. Now he grabbed the box and held it out to Ashley.
Both females stared at the square of dark blue velvet.
“What is it?” Ashley asked.
