“You misunderstand me,” he told her. “I’m not trying to make your situation worse. I’m offering you alternative employment. I would like to hire you as my housekeeper. You’ll take care of things here—cooking, cleaning, whatever else there is to do. You can live here rent free. In addition, I’ve spoken with my financial director. There is plenty of contract accounting work. If you’re interested, you can do that to supplement your income. The combined amounts should give you about double what you’re making now.”
As usual, she couldn’t read what he was thinking, but she had a good idea. No doubt he was pleased with himself for acting so magnanimous.
“So I’m your charity case for the month?” she asked. “It’s an interesting practice, taking people off the street and fixing them. Will you do orphans next?”
“You’re overreacting.”
“Probably because I’m a woman, right?” She pressed her lips together to hold in the rage. He was playing with her. She didn’t understand why, but she recognized the sensation of being manipulated.
“Your offer is generous,” she told him. “But I’m not interested. Maggie and I will be fine without you. And we’ll be leaving in the morning.”
Chapter 6
Ashley hurried to her room. She felt hot and light-headed, as if her flu had returned, but she knew her symptoms weren’t that easy to explain. Her eyes burned and her hands balled into fists. She felt angry and embarrassed—but most of all she feltbetrayed.
How could he have said all that? Offered her all that? It wasn’t right. She was a temporary guest in his home and he’d treated her like a—a— She stopped in the center of the upstairs hall and leaned against the wall. She didn’t know what he’d treated her like, but it made her feel ugly inside. As if she’d somehow been selling herself. As if... Damn.
Ashley sank onto the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest. Shame flooded her as the truth crashed over her with the subtlety of a Midwestern thunderstorm. She was an idiot. A down-to-the-bones kind of fool.
Jeff Ritter had come out of nowhere and rescued her. There was no other way to describe his taking charge of her life and setting everything right. He’d brought her into his gorgeous home and he’d been kind to her and her daughter. The second the flu bug had departed her system, she’d found out she was incredibly aware of him as a man. She thought he was good-looking and sexually intriguing. That kind of attraction hadn’t happened to her in years. In fact she’d been so immune, she’d assumed that part of her was dead.
She’d been startled to feel like a woman again and she’d gone from zero to having-a-crush-on in less than nine seconds. His offers for her to be his housekeeper and do part-time accounting work had blown her fantasy apart in a single breath. She’d been left feeling like an idiot and acting even worse.
It was the stress in her life, she told herself. Too much to do, too little time and money. Years of just getting by had worn her down. At the least little upset, she’d fallen apart. So she’d thought Jeff was the answer to a single mom’s prayers and he’d thought she was efficient hired help. Did that matter? He wasn’t responsible for her fantasies being destroyed. She shouldn’t be having them in the first place.
She leaned her head against the wall and wished she could take back the past fifteen minutes and have them to do over again. This time she would see his offer for what it was—kindness from a stranger, not a rejection from a fantasy lover. Unfortunately time wasn’t going to bend just for her.
* * *
Jeff stared at the chair Ashley had used and wondered what the hell had happened. Somehow he’d upset her or insulted her, or both. She was going to leave in the morning and he couldn’t stop her. Not that he should want to.
He drained the last of his brandy and hoped the fire burning down to his stomach would ease some of the ache inside. He could almost remember a time when normal conversations had been simple. When he’d been comfortable around people and had taken pleasure in their company. He could remember laughing with Nicole. Touching her, kissing her. He remembered easy words spoken without thinking. Not anymore. Not ever. He weighed each word, wondering if he was getting it right. Because he didn’t know how to do that anymore.
He’d been so close, too. Ashley had opened up to him, telling him about her past. He knew enough of the world to be able to read what shedidn’tsay as much as what she did. He imagined a frightened girl of twelve, losing both her mother and her sister within a few months of each other. A teenager looking for love with boys who were clueless about what that meant.
Somehow she’d survived, saving both herself and her daughter. She’d even kept her humanity—something he hadn’t been able to manage.
He thought about how the light had played on her face, illuminating perfect skin, emphasizing wide hazel eyes. Her smile seemed to come from the heart. She was smart and determined, and thin in a way that made him wonder how many times she’d had money to feed her daughter, but not herself.
Sometime that afternoon he’d come up with a plan to rescue her. He’d worked out the details and then he’d spoken without thinking and he’d insulted her. Because he had a need to fix, to mend. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t his business or that she wasn’t his problem. In an odd and dangerous way, he wanted to be responsible. Which meant that there was something wrong with him. He knew better than to get involved. His soul was too dead to allow for any kind of connection beyond the physical.
Still, he had to make amends. He might not understand the extent of his transgression, but he would do his best to make it right.
He walked through the house to the stairs and climbed to the second floor. He turned toward the guest wing, then paused when he saw Ashley sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Faint light from her bedroom spilled into the hallway, illuminating the left side of her face.
Desire rushed through him, making him need with an intensity that sucked the breath from his lungs. She was soft and sweet. Her gentleness called to him. As if he could risk being with someone gentle. As if she wouldn’t run in horror if she knew the truth about him, that in the deepest, darkest part of him, he’d ceased to be a man.
She looked up at him and smiled slightly. “I was sitting here trying to talk myself into going back downstairs and apologizing. You’ve saved me the trip.”
Her words didn’t make sense. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“What about the fact that I seriously overreacted? That should count for something. You were just being nice and I took it wrong. At least I assume you were being nice.”
Nice? Him? “I was trying to do the right thing. I need a housekeeper and you need to make a change in your work.”
She wrinkled her nose. “You do like telling me what to do. Is this a military thing or a male thing?”
“Both.”
