When her mom had been her age, she’d been raising a kid on her own, caring for her disabled father and trying to keep food on the table. She’d put her head down and had done all the work because there wasn’t anyone else to do it. Ava hadbeen wrapping up her MBA, starting a foundation and falling in love with Milton. Aaron had already started a business with his brother. Javiar was honing his already impressive sales skills and doubling his income every year. Victoria, also her age, had a career as a stuntperson. Okay, not anything Shannon would want to do, but she was out there, throwing herself off bridges and out of burning buildings. Everyone else had purpose. Everyone else could be proud of themselves, while she was left to mumble lies about taking pictures of plants.
When she got back, she retreated to her office, telling herself she had to catch up on email but, in truth, to hide out and hope the sense of failure and humiliation would diminish. Unfortunately about thirty seconds after she sat down, her mom walked in.
“How was lunch?” Cindy asked, sitting across from her and looking expectant.
“Good. Ava’s very nice. She told me about the charcuterie boards—how she was the one to teach you about them.”
Her mother’s expectant expression immediately turned sad. “She was. She was so kind to me.”
“Mom,” Shannon began, “you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I wish that was true, but let’s not talk about it. Any interesting news from your lunch?”
“Not really. Oh, she showed me a bunch of pictures of you two together, when you were pregnant. I hadn’t seen any of them before. You were a kid, Mom. I guess I forget how young you were. She said she’d give me some of them if I wanted.”
“She kept the pictures?” Cindy sounded surprised. “After all these years? I wonder why.”
Shannon thought it best not to mention the lace dress and the onesie. “She said she has all these memory boxes, and one of them is about, um, me. Well, I guess about both of us.”
Her mother looked away. “I hadn’t realized. But you had a good time?”
“It was interesting. We don’t know each other, and we don’t have anything in common. The house is nice, but you knew that from when you used to hang out there.”
“Are you going to see her again?” Cindy asked, not quite meeting her gaze.
“What? No. Why would I? To be honest, I don’t know why she wanted to have lunch.”
Her mother seemed to relax. “I’m sure she was curious. It was a difficult time for everyone, and she would want to know how you turned out.”
Shannon had a little trouble following her mother’s assessment but thought maybe she understood what her mom was trying to say.
“I guess, but it’s done now. I don’t think I’ll hear from her again.”
“You’re probably right. Okay, I’m going to get back to work.”
“Me, too.”
Her mother smiled, then left. Shannon checked her work emails and started answering them, but in the back of her mind was the lingering sense of not having all the answers. Not about herself and her future, not about why Ava had wanted to meet with her. As the afternoon wore on, she couldn’t shake her mild unease. As Aaron had said several times, nothing was different. She was exactly who she had always been. The chance encounter with Ava and her family was just one of those strange things that sometimes happened. Better for her to focus on figuring out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, other than marrying Aaron. And speaking of that, she really did have to tell her mom about the engagement. She’d promised Aaron that she would.
As to what to do about her future—she had to get on that. She’d had a wake-up call with the whole actuarial table report, and she knew herself well enough to know it was often easier for her to simply go along rather than take action. She wishedshe was stronger that way. A person who did and went, like Victoria. She seemed fearless.
Impulsively Shannon grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts, stopping when she got to Victoria’s name. Before she could talk herself out of it, she started texting.
I keep thinking about our random meeting and the dinner. I guess I don’t know where to put it all emotionally. Are you okay with it or do you feel the same?
She waited, but there were no dots, so she forced herself to go back to work. But about ten minutes later, her phone chimed.
Totally the same, Victoria answered.You’re the chosen one, and that makes me feel weird. And me saying that makes you feel weird, which isn’t what I mean.
No, I totally get that. It’s like everything is different, but it isn’t.
Victoria sent back a wide-eyed emoji.My mom’s claims that everything is fine is total sus, but if I call her on it, then we have to talk about it. I don’t want to talk to her about anything.
Shannon wasn’t sure what to say to that. She and her mom talked about everything. Okay, not the engagement, but everything else.
Want to talk to me? Maybe we could help each other. We’re kind of the only ones who get it.
I’m in. Want to have dinner some night?
