“The part where you say it because you think it’s cool and not because you mean it.”
“That’s not true. I totally mean it. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Not even close. I’m in it for the orgasm.”
“You had a good time with me today, and no one had an orgasm.”
“Not yet,” she said. “That could change.”
“Having a broken leg and not being as mobile as you’d like has to suck. How about if I bring by dinner in a few days and we hang out?”
She wanted to say no because of the whole not-dating thing, but to be honest, she was tired of her own company. Having someone to talk to could be nice.
“As long as it’s just as friends and not a boy-girl thing.”
“You said you wanted to have sex.”
“I do.” She shook her head. “What isn’t clear? I won’t date you. I’ll be friends, or I’ll have sex with you. Those are my two options.”
“Then let’s be friends.”
His answer stung a little. “I thought you’d pick the sex.”
He offered her a slow, sexy smile. “I definitely want to, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’d use me and toss me aside. If we’re friends, then I get to stick around longer.”
Interesting logic, she thought. Confusing, but interesting.
11
“There’s a Cindy Van Horn here to see you,” Ava’s assistant said from the doorway to her office. “She doesn’t have an appointment, and when I asked what it was about, she said it was personal.”
Ava did her best not to react to the words, despite how surprised she was. Cindy, here?
It had been nearly a week since the family dinner they’d shared. While the evening had been awkward at times, Ava had appreciated the chance to get to know Shannon and reconnect with Cindy—even for an evening. Afterwards she’d poked at the emotional wounds she’d carried and found that they’d scarred up and bothered her much less than she would have thought. Oh, if she allowed herself to get lost in the past, she could bring all that pain back in a heartbeat, but why would she want to do that? Even though she’d taken both Cindy’s and Shannon’s numbers, she had no plans to reach out to either of them. Of course she would love to get to know the woman who had, briefly, almost been her daughter, but she knew she was nothing to Shannon. So every time she was tempted to reach out, she reminded herself that it wasn’t a good idea.
“She’s an old friend,” Ava said easily, as she quickly saved her work and exited her Excel program. “You can show her in.”
Seconds later Cindy walked into her office. Ava rose and started to smile, then stared when she saw the other woman.
Cindy was pale, with dark circles under her eyes. Her gait was hesitant, her posture defensive. She looked like someone who’d gotten a bad diagnosis or worse.
“What’s wrong?” Ava asked. “Are you all right? Is it Luis?” Her heart stopped. “Is it Shannon?”
Cindy shook her head. “Everyone is fine. I haven’t been sleeping.” She paused and stared at the ground. “Not since the dinner. Oh, Ava.” She looked up and tears filled her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you and being a coward and not telling you the truth. I was wrong to keep my doubts from you. You were nothing but kind and I destroyed you.”
The tears became sobs. Ava hesitated for a second before grabbing the box of tissues from her desk, then guiding Cindy to the corner seating area. She got the other woman to sit on the sofa and took the chair for herself. She gave Cindy about ninety seconds to cry it out, then said, “It’s been twenty-four years. Do I look destroyed?”
Cindy blinked at her. “No, you look perfect. Like always. I remember you being so pulled together. Even when you were weeding my garden, you looked like a model in a magazine.”
“Thank you for the compliment. My point is I think you’re taking on too much guilt. You changed your mind. It’s allowed.”
She was proud of how lightly she spoke the words when, in truth, thinking about what had happened all those years ago still made her feel like her heart was bleeding.
“Have you been worrying about this all week?” she asked.
Cindy nodded slowly. “After our dinner, I felt awful about what I’d done. Or not done. I should have been honest with you and told you what I was thinking about Shannon.” She looked away. “I was so scared that if I did...”
Ava could fill in the rest of the sentence. “You were afraidif you told me what was going on, I’d get angry or try to talk you out of it.”
“Yes. Or that you’d hire a lawyer and take my baby anyway. You and Milton knew everything about the world, and I was just some eighteen-year-old kid who said you could have my baby and then changed my mind.”
