“I want to get married at the venue we saw,” her mother blurted.
Shannon waited for the second half of the sentence—the scary part—only that seemed to be it. Confusing, but okay.
“It was really lovely,” Shannon said honestly. “The garden was special and would be an excellent backdrop for pictures.”
Her mom nearly writhed in place. “But I can’t have the wedding there.”
“Why not? Are you worried about the cost? I know it’s a little pricey, but Luis wants you to have the wedding of your dreams.”
“He does. It’s just—” Cindy glanced around, as if making sure they were alone “—what about Ava?”
“What does she have to do with anything?”
“We saw her there. It was a thing.”
Shannon hugged her mom. “No. It was two minutes of conversation. Yes, you feel bad about what you did all those years ago, but you had every right to keep me. You did what your heart told you. I’m sure she’s fine with whatever happened.”
Maybe not fine, Shannon amended silently, remembering the stricken look on Ava’s face and the way she kept staring at her.
“If you want to have the wedding there, you need to do it, Mom. The last thing you want to be dealing with about yourwedding is regrets. You waited so long to find Luis. He’s a wonderful man, and you love him. Be happy. If this is the place, then you need to book it.”
Her mom still looked doubtful. “You won’t judge?”
“I only judge myself. Never you.”
Cindy grinned at her before running to her desk and opening a drawer. She returned to Shannon’s side, the brochure from the venue in her hands.
“Itislovely, and the garden is exactly what I wanted. I’ve talked to the person there, and she has a few dates open. Luis is fine with it.”
“Of course he is. Plus the cost won’t mean anything to him.” She pointed at her mother. “I know you’re worried about the price.”
“I am, but you’re right. Luis doesn’t care. He just wants to be married.”
Aaron would be exactly the same, Shannon thought. He would trust her to spend their money wisely, but with enough abandon to make them both happy. She was still leaning toward something in nature, like a park maybe or an old barn with gorgeous grounds. She’d done a brief search online and had found a few interesting places. She wanted to go see a couple of them, but doing that by herself wouldn’t be fun, and so far she hadn’t told anyone but Javiar about the engagement. She could ask Aaron, but he really wasn’t a wedding-venue kind of guy.
She looked at her mom and wondered about just blurting out the truth. She was going to have to do it at some point. Only, her mom was excited about her own wedding, and if Shannon mentioned her engagement now, in the middle of the day, instead of first thing like it had just happened, the telling wouldn’t go well. She would have to explain why she’d waited, and then her mom would cry. It seemed so much easier to wait for a better time.
Cindy glanced at her phone. “You think I should do it?”
“Yes, you should. And when you’ve figured out the date, we can talk about whether or not you want to send out Save the Date cards. We can do those digitally as well as through mail.”
“We’re finally at the Save the Date card stage?” Cindy pressed a hand to her chest, then laughed. “This is really happening. I’m going to marry Luis.”
“You are, and the wedding will be amazing.” Shannon walked to the door. “Let me know when you’ve figured out the date, and we’ll make a plan from there. You’re going to have to start getting serious about the details, including shopping for your dress.”
“I can’t wait,” Cindy said, picking up her phone. “I’m going to call right now.”
Shannon returned to her own office. As much as she longed to be planning her own wedding, until she came clean she was stuck. But just as much on her mind was thinking about all the things her mother had given up because she’d kept her. Cindy was forty-two, so if she’d been more conventional, she would have a husband and maybe two or three children, along with a career. Money would never have been so tight, and she wouldn’t have had to struggle. Shannon knew her mom loved her with all her heart—she would never doubt that. But right now she couldn’t help thinking that maybe, when things had been bad, Cindy had thought about, as she’d called it, the road not taken. She must have daydreamed about how it all would have been different.
Which meant Shannon was, as Aaron had pointed out, doubly responsible for her mother’s happiness. And so far all she’d done was disappoint.
Victoria spent three days feeling sorry for herself. She slept too much, didn’t do her Morning Pages and basically indulged in an epic pity party. But on the fourth day, she decidedshe had to get her shit together or she was going to start disliking herself. More important, some action was required for her mental health.
She forced herself out of bed at the ungodly hour of seven and spent the requisite time doing her Morning Pages, followed by twenty minutes of upper-body and core exercises. Her leg might be in a cast, but there was no reason the rest of her should atrophy. After washing up as best she could, she dressed in real clothes and thought about putting on makeup. As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, she found herself studying the scar on her cheek. The one her mother wanted her to get fixed. Most of the time she could ignore it, but every now and then she thought that maybe she should go see someone and at least get it looked at. The scar was an irregular half-moon shape below her cheekbone. The result of a bad fall on her first day of shooting and a lack of trained medical care in the area. Yes, a couple of stitches had closed up the skin but hadn’t done much to prevent the scar.
“Not today,” she told herself as she left the bathroom. Once in the kitchen she surveyed the contents of her refrigerator. There was a little leftover Thai, some condiments that were probably expired and half a bottle of white wine. But no actual food.
After placing an online grocery order, she paid the really high delivery fee to get it that morning, then went to work cleaning up her place. She changed the sheets, picked up the clothes from everywhere she’d flung them and started a load of laundry. She dusted, then eyed the vacuum, but there was no way she could manage that right now, so she did a quick clean of the main bathroom before making coffee and retreating to her den.
