She crossed to one of the guest chairs and sat down. “I’m so screwed up. You shouldn’t even look at me. What if I have a disaster aura and somehow you catch it? You’re a successful guy. You don’t need a disaster lurking in your aura.”
“Now you’re all about the crazy talk.” He sat next to her and took her hand in his. “You need to breathe.”
“I’m breathing. If I wasn’t, I couldn’t talk.” She groaned. “You know how I know that? Because I have panic attacks, and when I do, I feel like I can’t breathe, so I start talking out loud, because if I can talk, I’m breathing.” She pulled her hand away and pressed it against her rapidly beating heart.
“I’m a directionless person who is overly dependent on her mother, and I have panic attacks. And I hate my hair, but that’s not relevant.”
He straightened. “Hey, I love your hair. It’s really pretty.”
“I have cowlicks so I have to straighten it all the time. You remember how bad it is when it’s foggy and my hair frizzes. Which isn’t the point. Why are we talking about my hair?” Shegroaned. “See? Disaster. Shannon Disaster Van Horn. Call me that from now on.”
“I can’t. I love you, and you’re not a disaster.”
How she wanted to believe him. Her day would go so much better if she could simply pretend she was fine and get on with her life. Only that was exactly what she’d been doing for the past three years. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to suddenly be really old—like forty—and still be working for her mother.
“I need direction,” she said. “I need to figure out what I want to do with my life and then do it.” She sucked in a breath. “Do you know that when my mom was my age, she was raising a six-year-old daughter on her own and caring for her disabled father? She got pregnant at seventeen. Did she drift? No. Did she wait around to be rescued? Not even close. I need to be more like her.” She groaned. “No, I need to be a better version of myself.”
She looked at the man sitting across from her. “You’re seeing me at my worst.”
He smiled at her. “Babe, if this is your worst, sign me up.”
“You’re too accepting. Why aren’t you disappointed in me?”
“Now that I know what you’re going to be worth when you’re sixty-five, I’m thinking I should be in it for the money,” he teased.
She laughed, then suddenly had to blink back tears. “Thank you for being such a good guy.” And while she appreciated the support, she had to admit she was more than a little scared, because right next to her inaction sat her ability to just drift along.
“Aaron, this is bad.”
“It’s not. You got a wake-up call. That’s a good thing. It reminds you to pay attention to what you want. Once you have a path, you follow it.”
He made it sound so easy, she thought glumly. And for him, it was. He and his brother had started their gardening business out of high school, going door-to-door in their neighborhood,looking for business. Two years later, John hadn’t been interested in continuing, so Aaron had taken it over. He’d contracted with a local commercial nursery and had started offering plants and trees to his clients. Today he had nearly a dozen crews working for him and was growing the residential construction landscaping side of his business. Aaron knew all about following the path.
“I don’t know what to do,” she admitted. “Part of me wants to let my mom fix it.”
“How’s that working for you so far?”
“Not well.”
He stood and walked around to his desk, then paused and looked at her. “Maybe I can help.”
“You already are.” He was being great. She didn’t know why she had such a wonderful boyfriend, but there he stood, in the flesh.
“I was thinking of something a little bit more direct. Especially when it comes to your future.”
She didn’t understand. Was he going to suggest she change jobs or go back to college or find a meaningful hobby?
He took something out of his desk and walked back to her, then drew her to her feet and stared into her eyes.
“Shannon Van Horn, I love you.”
She appreciated how he’d left out theDisastermiddle name. “I love you, too, Aaron Jason Williams.” She smiled at him. “You’re really sweet to me. I appreciate that more than you know.” He was always so patient, and he listened to her. Plus the sex was really good.
“I had a whole thing planned,” he told her, his gaze oddly intense. “And we can still do that later, if you want. But this seems like the right time.”
She had no idea what he was talking about, but before she could ask, she realized he looked incredibly nervous, which was so strange.
“Okay, this is harder than I thought.” He smiled at her, thenshook his head. “I’m just going to say it. I love you, Shannon. You’re amazing, and I’m hoping we can spend the rest of our lives together. Will you marry me?”
