“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too.”
They walked for another half lap, then she asked, “Do you think I need therapy?”
“Sweetie, we all need therapy. But in your case, if you have an issue, I suggest that you write about it. For you, that’s always going to be the right answer.”
Shannon’s first clue that her mom was back from her mystery trip was the sight of her car in the office parking lot. Her stomach immediately flipped, making her regret the oatmeal she’d had for breakfast. Over the past week and a half, she’d texted her mother nearly a half dozen times. Cindy had answered the last one, saying she was fine and would be back in the office by the end of the week. And here she was.
“You can do this,” she told herself as she parked and grabbed her bag. She’d spent a lot of time thinking about what she wanted to say. Hopefully her mom would be open to listening.
She went into her office to check her email. When she saw there wasn’t anything urgent, she walked to her mother’s office and knocked on the open door.
“Welcome back,” she said as she stepped inside and pulled the door closed behind her.
“Thanks,” Cindy said with a smile that wasn’t quite as broad and welcoming as usual. “We were in Las Vegas.”
“Fun.” Shannon sat in the visitor’s chair. “Mom, I’m sorry.”
Cindy looked away. “We don’t have to talk about this. I’m fine.”
“Please, I need to say this. I’m sorry for keeping my engagement from you. I was completely wrong. I hurt you, I disrespected you, and while I’m guessing at some point you’ll forgive me, you’re going to remember what I did forever. It’s all on me. I should have told you as soon as Aaron proposed. I should have let you share in the moment. You were right in everything you said before. We’re supposed to be there for each other and be able to trust each other. I messed up in every way there is, and I’m deeply sorry for what I did.”
Cindy blinked several times as if holding in tears. “I appreciate that you said that, but I can’t figure out why you didn’t tell me. What did I do to make you think that was okay?”
The words hurt, but she figured she deserved them. “It wasn’t okay. I was wrong.”
Her mom brushed that aside. “Fine, you were wrong, but why did you want to keep your engagement a secret from me when you told other people?”
Shannon pressed her lips together. “I didn’t tell other people. With Ava, it just slipped out. Aaron’s family didn’t know either. We were just...”
Be honest, she told herself. It was past time for her to stand up for herself and say what she wanted.
“Mom, I love you so much. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve helped me and guided me and been my biggest cheerleader. You sacrificed so much for me, and I appreciate all of it. But it has to stop. I need to grow up, and the only way for that to happen is for me to stand on my own.”
“What does that have to do with you not telling me about your engagement?”
“I don’t want a double wedding. Actually I don’t want a wedding at all, but that’s not the real issue.”
Her mother stared at her. “A double wedding? What are you talking about? I don’t want that either.”
“Really? Because you’ve mentioned it about five times. You still want us to dress alike. We celebrate our birthdays together. I love that we’re close, but in some ways, we’re too close. You’re the voice in my head and the person I always run to. I need to stand on my own. It was never about the wedding, and it was never about you. It was about me being afraid to say what I want.”
Cindy shook her head. “You’re saying I’m a bad mother?”
And this was why she’d always kept her mouth shut, Shannon thought in frustration. “I’m saying it’s time I started acting like an adult. Please help me with that. Please accept that I need to be my own person, and doing that isn’t about rejecting you.”
Cindy seemed to shrink a little. “I was only kidding about the double wedding.”
Shannon offered a faint smile. “For real? Because it felt like more.”
Her mom shifted a little. “I might have thought about how fun it would be, but not seriously.” She drew in a breath. “I thought you liked us celebrating our birthdays together.”
“I do, but maybe not every year. Wouldn’t you like Luis to take you away sometime?”
Cindy’s eyes filled with tears. “What else don’t you like about me?”
“Mom, don’t, please. It has to be okay that we’re different people. You like ketchup on your hamburgers, and I prefer mustard. Can’t this just be that?”
