“What if…” I hesitate, trying to gather the courage to ask the question. “What if he wants to have sex with me?”
She pauses and stares at me for a second. Shoot. Maybe I should have kept that to myself. I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t say. It always seemed like everything I said was wrong in my father’s eyes.
“Do you want to have sex with him?”
I hadn’t really thought of that. Of course I had thought about it happening because I’ve convinced myself he’s going to force me sooner or later. I think that’s what scares me the most. Not having the choice.
Patrick has been nothing but a gentleman this week. He hasn’t gotten angry when I don’t speak. He leaves me notes. He suggests I go take a bath and relax.
Not only that, but when I’m around him, I’m not scared. I guess it’s strange to say I’m afraid of him, but also, at the same time, I’m not.
“I’ve never…”
Helen raises her eyebrows and then nods. “Then don’t do it until you really want to. Patrick won’t force you. I’d cut his ballsoff with his own kitchen knife if he did. After that, I’d call his mama, and she’d chop off his dick.”
I gasp. Then I start giggling hysterically. I think Helen just became my favorite person ever.
“How did you get so strong? I feel like a scared mouse all the time.”
The older woman reaches out and takes my hand. “I had the most wonderful man who made me feel safe. I was a lot like you when he and I met. Scared of the world because of how my parents raised me. Then it was like he swaddled me in his armor and made me feel so protected and loved.”
I let out a deep breath and smile at her, enjoying how light and carefree I feel. “That sounds so nice.”
“Don’t worry, Ana. You’ll know what it’s like soon.”
11
PATRICK
“What are you doing?”
I shift my gaze away from my computer screen and blink a few times. Shit, I need some eyedrops or something. Staring at the monitor so intently hurts. It’s for a good cause, though. Destroying Joseph Clayburn and making him suffer before Ireallymake him suffer is the greatest pleasure. I can hardly wait until the day that I get to watch him bleed out slowly while the life drains from his body.
“Ruining someone’s life. What are you all doing? In here. Where I’m trying to work.”
Cali, Scarlet, Chloe, Paisley, and Katie stare at me from the other side of my desk. The fact that I didn’t hear them come in worries me. Normally, they can be heard from a mile away.
“Why haven’t you brought her yet?” Cali asks, folding her arms over her chest.
I narrow my eyes. “Who?”
The girls scoff and roll their eyes. It’s so easy to get a rise out of them. It’s also a lot of fun messing with them, especially because they do the same with me.
“You know exactly who.” Chloe raises her eyebrows, and it’s a struggle not to laugh. I think she’s attempting to give me a stern look, but instead, she looks like she’s eaten something sour. Fucking adorable.
“We want to meet her.” Scarlet puts her hands on the desk and sticks her bottom lip out dramatically. “We’ve beensogood all week. We haven’t done one single prank because we thought if we behaved, you’d bring your girl over.”
My chest warms, and I lean back in my chair to stare at the five of them. They are a lot of things. Bratty. Mischievous. Loud. Obnoxious at times. Pushy as hell. They’re also some of the sweetest women I’ve ever met. They open their hearts to every new girl who joins the mafia family. It’s really special.
“Did you know that my mom and Declan’s were friends way back when? There was a whole group of girls in the family who were friends just like you are.” I smile softly, thinking about them causing havoc around the estate.
Paisley glances at the women and then back at me. “Okay, that’s really nice. We are asking about something different, though. Have you been drinking already?”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “Not a drop. Why do you want to meet her so badly?”
“Because we already know we’re going to like her. And she’s going to love us. It’s going to be great. The six of us will be besties. Then all we have to do is find Ronan a girl and we’ll be one big happy family.” Cali throws her hands in the air as she ends the sentence, a huge grin plastered on her face.
I don’t remember exactly what her past was, but I don’t think she and Scarlet had much of a home life. They’ve both thrived being in our family.
