I sit for a few moments in silence, and then I stand.
If I want to be this new Zaria, I need to take risks, act differently than I have.
And my first risk is leaving this room.
I know exactly where I'm going, the one place I have a shot at being accepted. The one place I want to be now more than ever.
I walk to the door and open it slowly.
I pause in the doorway.
If I step out and do this, there's no going back.
I stare down the hall, breathing, and with everything I've got, I force myself out of the room and begin walking.
27
ZARIA
It's fifty-three steps from my door to his.
I don't know why I counted, except that I needed something solid, something measurable, to keep my courage from shattering halfway down the hall.
I told myself it's fifty-three yeses to going for something I want. And most importantly, it's fifty-three steps away from the girl who waited to be told what to do and toward the woman who chooses and goes after what she wants.
I pause outside Callum's bedroom door and look back down the hall to my room, the place I could retreat to if needed, but the thought of turning back and forgetting this doesn't even cross my mind.
My hand trembles as I reach for the handle. Without thinking, I don't knock. I just turn it slowly and walk in.
The room is about three times the size of mine. It's so big it has couches and chairs in one corner facing a fireplace and a TV, both of which are off. The bed is massive and framed in dark wood. It dominates the space.
I walk into the room and shut the door behind me.
I immediately smell his scent. Not just his cologne, but something clean and sharp and uniquely Callum. It sinks straight into my bloodstream and makes my stomach flip.
My body tingles as I take another step forward, heat vibrating low in my stomach, my body wanting what my mind has finally caught up to desire.
I take another step forward, then another, my skin buzzing like I'm vibrating from the inside out. The sensation starts at my feet and spreads through my thighs, my chest, my fingertips.
There's a light on in the bathroom, and I hear running water.
I walk across his room and peek through the crack in the door.
Callum's at the sink washing his hands. He's stripped of his clothes and is in black boxer briefs.
I freeze as I watch his perfectly defined back muscles flex as he scrubs the dried blood from beneath his nails.
Water drips down his forearms, his shoulders shifting with each movement.
My breath catches. I've never seen him like this.
Half-dressed and unguarded. He looks beautiful.
Heat rushes through me so fast it almost makes me dizzy.
My body reacts instantly, heat flooding between my legs, and I feel myself getting wet.
As my arousal grows, I take a step back. Suddenly, I'm nervous, self-conscious, like I shouldn't be here.
