This doesn't make sense.
Everyday I've been wearing a fresh robe that's been brought into my room by a sweet housekeeper, Martha. It was plenty and honestly more than I expected given the circumstances. She asked me if I wanted anything else and I just mentioned some warm socks. I did not expect that would turn into all of this.
I didn't expect this.
Why would Callum do this? What does he want for it?
Nothing is free.
In the Order, if Brother George gave you food, you owed him your body.
If Sister Monica gave you a blanket, you owed her obedience.
If Cormac gave you anything, you owed him your life.
Every kindness came with a price. Every gift was a test.
I gather up all the bags and walk back over to the bed and dump them out into a huge pile.
I try on the pants first.
They fit, perfectly, and feel light as air while on.
I pull on the black long-sleeve top. It's soft, the kind of fabric that doesn't scratch or cling. I like these types of shirts, they cover my mark.
I try on a few different pairs of shoes and find ones that I can easily move around in, maybe even run in if I need to.
Then I stand in front of the mirror, and for a moment, I don't recognize myself.
The girl staring back at me looks normal and, dare I say, well put together.
I smile and it feels good.
I touch my face, brushing over the faint bruise on my cheek that is finally starting to fade.
My hair is still a mess, tangled and uneven, but it's clean.
I grab the hairbrush from the toiletry bag and work through the knots, wincing as the bristles pull.
There we go. This is the version of me I haven't seen in years.
The version who used to sit in diners with her mother, who used to dream about college, who used to think the world was bigger than the walls of the Order's house.
My chest aches.
I turn away from the mirror and grab the toothbrush.
Brushing my teeth feels like a small miracle.
The minty taste spreads across my tongue, washing away the staleness that has been there for days.
I rinse my mouth and spit into the sink, then wash my face with the face wash.
The lotion smells like lavender. I rub it into my hands, my arms, my neck.
When I'm done, I step back into the bedroom.
The TV is still on, it has barely been off since Callum allowed me to watch it. With all the channels, there is always something worth watching.
