“Not at first,” Carson replied. “I could smell he wasn’t lying, but it was hard to ignore the anger I still had all these years later. I can’t tell you how many times I dreamt about my failure to save our younger brothers and sisters. It got so bad I hated to go to sleep because I’d have nightmares about the pain they’d had to endure. It was only when I was completely exhausted that I could fall into a dreamless sleep, but then the cycle would start all over again.
“It wasn’t until I met Remy and his brothers that I was finally able to say goodbye to our siblings. Now I only remember the good times I had with them. And with Mom alive, I was sure I was ready to move on…to look forward instead of being stuck in the past.”
Jackson nodded, before saying, “But there was still a piece of the puzzle that was missing, wasn’t there?”
“Yes…that’s when I knew I’d never be free until I made peace with Kahn. Even though he wasn’t with Josiah that night, it was important for him to tell me to my face he didn’t know what was going to happen to our family. I can’t explain it, but not knowing for sure prevented myheart from healing fully. And when I realized that Kahn was telling me the truth, it finally allowed me to put the past where it belonged…in the past.”
Pausing for a moment, Carson glanced down at his feet before returning his gaze to his brother. “I accepted Kahn’s apology and, in the process, found the peace that had eluded me since that night. I just thought you should know…” Carson’s voice trailed off, no longer able to look at his brother.
Leaning forward, Jackson said, softly, “Carsy, please…look at me.”
When Carson finally raised his eyes, he was relieved to see there was only love in his brother’s eyes.
Smiling at his brother, Jackson said, “Happiness is something I want for all my brothers and I’m so glad you found it. And it doesn’t matter how it happened, what’s important is that you did.”
Nodding, Carson said, fervently, “I swear I’m happy, Jackson.”
“I know,” Jackson replied. “Your eyes tell me everything…the grief you tried so hard to hide is gone and there’s a cheerfulness that I haven’t seen since before that night. There were so many times I wished I could fix what was troubling you, but I finally realized that the road back to living is one we each must walk alone…and we all have to find our own way.”
“I felt as if I were drowning…and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my head above water,” Carson whispered.
Jackson nodded in agreement with his brother. “Josiah took more than our loved ones. He stole years of our lives and shattered our dreams for the future. When Ithink back to those dark days, the hardest thing for me to accept was that none of us would ever be able to go back to the life we knew. When I finally came to terms with it, that’s when my healing began. I realized that dwelling on it only forced me into a place where there wasn’t a future for me…or any of my brothers…and I wasn’t about to let that happen.
“Still,” Jackson continued, “it wasn’t easy for me. Sometimes, I’d go to sleep and wonder which brother would be gone in the morning. My grief, your grief…all of our grief was so palpable, that at times I felt like I was suffocating.”
“When did you know you would make it?” asked Carson.
“When I found Steel. Before that I was barely keeping my head about water,” Jackson replied, smiling.
Nodding slowly, Carson said, “It was the same for me…finding Remy started my healing. And Kahn…with a simple apology, completed it.”
“I’m so proud of you, Carson…and so glad you’re finally at peace.”
“Thank you…but what about you…are you at peace?”
“Not totally, but I came to the conclusion a little while ago that my missing piece is also Kahn. I plan to talk to him once Rudy is dealt with,” Jackson replied, smiling. “It’s time for our family…all of us, including Kahn…to move forward.”
~/~/~/~/~
Rudy got out of the SUV and surveyed the area. It had been a long time since he’d been on the Fox River land and it paid to be cautious since he didn’t know if Jackson had come back to the land after Josiah’s death.But from the look of the overgrown road they’d ridden in on, his guess was no one had been here for a long time—which was exactly what he'd hoped for when he decided to launch his attack on Silver Point to take back what was rightfully his.
Looking over his shoulder, Rudy saw the rest of his men, except for Osrum and Bruno, get out of the vehicles that had followed him. He couldn’t care less about the magic user since he had no further use for him, but Bruno’s absence pissed him off. Time was of the essence and if he didn’t call soon, Rudy would have go without him. Turning his gaze back to the land he would eventually take from Jackson, he smiled. Josiah had made a lot of mistakes in his efforts to acquire it, but he wouldn’t be making the same ones.
“Everyone’s here, boss,” Seth said, standing behind him.
Not bothering to turn around, Rudy growled, “Bruno?”
“I haven’t heard from him. I think something’s wrong” Seth replied. “Do you want me to send someone to get him?”
“No!” Rudy growled. “There isn’t time.”
“But what if he’s hurt?”
Turning around Rudy snarled, “Then it’s too fucking bad, isn’t it? Now get the men in position…and forget about him. And don’t give me any shit. It’s your fault I’m in this clusterfuck right now because you let Frank escape. Your stupidity is the reason I’m out of time. I have to move now or otherwise, all this shit has been for fucking nothing. Go!”
“It wasn’t my fault,” Seth muttered to himself, heading over to the men milling around the trucks.
Sidling up to Seth, Hans whispered, “What about Bruno? Does Rudy want us to see what’s keeping him?”
