Chapter 24
A smile flickered across Lucius’ face after hearing his mate’s words. “That’s how I feel about you,” he whispered, smiling sweetly. “I never thought anything good would ever happen to me after…after I became a vampire…but it has. But I’m...”
When Lucius paused, Brady squeezed his hand to encourage him to continue, but when nothing was forthcoming, he asked, “What’s worrying you,leelan?”
Biting his lower lip, Lucius glanced down for a moment, trying to decide if he should tell his mate. To do so would go against all of Valerian’s training.But he’s dead…the death spell is gone…and I’m free. There’s nothing he can do to me anymore…right?And that was the problem. He possessed so little knowledge about the vampire world, his fear of doing or saying the wrong thing was paralyzing him. Then he felt his mate squeeze his hand again, giving him the necessary boost to push through his fear. “I’m afraid.”
Lucius spoke so low it couldn’t even be called a whisper, more like a puff of air, but Brady heard him. He didn’t know what his mate feared but was determined to ease his discomfort as much as he could. “Leelan, I’m also afraid…”
Quickly looking up at his mate, Lucius asked, “You are? Why?”
“Oh my…let’s see. First, I’m afraid of losing you…”
“Me? I’m not going anywhere,” Lucius said, emphatically.
“That’s good to know even though it’s probably too early for you to make that decision,” Brady said, kindly. “But it’s not just that…I’m also afraid of failing the Keeper of All Magic, the low-level magic users, Oracle, Mystia, the Blackwood Pack…but most of all, I’m afraid of failing you. I’ve been alone for a long time, making me very set in my ways. What if I can’t give you what you need…or be what you need? What if I end up making you unhappy? That would pain me very much.”
“Are you kidding?” Lucius asked incredulously. “I’m very happy…youhaveto believe me! For years, I tried to escape the life I had with my master, but none of my plans ever worked out. After I saw him die, my first thought was ‘I’m free at last’ and I couldn’t wait to get away. But my joy was short-lived because…well you know why. In the end, when the pain was so great…do you know what my greatest regret was? Dying alone without anyone caring.”
Lucius reached up and wiped the wetness from his eyes, before continuing. “But when I saw your face, I somehow knew, there was someone who finally did care if I live or die. You can’t understand how much that means to me…it means the world, actually, because if I learned one thing during my time with Valerian, it’s that you can’t take anything for granted. Not my life…not my family…and certainly not what will happen in the future. But what I do know is you love me…so believe me when I say it makes me deliriously happy that you do.”
Smiling, Brady leaned forward, pressing his lips lightly against his mate’s before lifting his head and focusing on Lucius’ eyes. “Leelan, everyone has fears, no matter who they are. Do you knowwhyyou have them?”
“Not really…I just thought it was because I’m dumb.”
“Who said you were?” asked Brady, frowning.
“Mostly my master, though Zeidan and Xavier did sometimes, when I would ask them things about being a vampire. They would never answer me…instead they said it wasn’t worth their time trying to teach someone as dumb as I was.”
“You’re not dumb so please ask me any questions you want…and if I don’t know the answer, we can research it together to find out. Regarding your master and the other vampires, I believe it was their attempt to keep you ignorant so it would be easier to control you. It’s a well-known method used by power-greedy beings throughout the history of our world.”
Listening carefully to his mate’s explanation, Lucius thought about it before coming to the same conclusion. After all, what vampire knowledge he did have was picked up by observing Valerian and his buddies, though he mostly learned what not to do. Then remembering Brady’s question, he asked, “What about my fears?”
“Ahh…right. Fears were designed to make sure we survive…they can be real…for instance, the fear you have when you see a larger animal coming menacingly toward you. Your mind is telling you to run away…to escape potential danger in order to stay alive. In that case, fear is doing what it was design to do. But, then there are irrational fears—and they’re more common than real ones. They rarely help someone survive because they thrive on the self-doubt we all have. Letting those fears rule you usually results in bad consequences. The key in life is knowing which of your fears are real and which are not.”
Nodding slowly, Lucius said, “I think most of my fears are not real ones.”
“As are mine, leelan. It takes work and time to remove them from our minds but it’s worth it, in the end.”
“Will you help me do it?”
“Of course,” Brady replied, smiling. “We can help each other.”
“I’d like that,” Lucius said, smiling.
“Good. In the meantime, how are you doing? You can move your arms and hands so that is a good sign…what about your legs?”
Gazing down at his covered legs, he concentrated, trying to bend his right knee. Frustrated at his body’s lack of response, he tried harder, clenching his jaw tightly, causing beads of blood to dot his forehead. But even then, Lucius didn’t stop; in his mind, being able to move freely once more would be proof Valerian’s death spell was, once and for all, truly gone.
Looking down at his mate’s legs, Brady waited eagerly for any sign the blood treatment was working, missing the consequences of Lucius’ efforts. When nothing happened, he glanced up at Lucius, intending to tell him to stop trying for a while. It was obvious his mate needed to continue the blood transfusions. Alarmed at what he saw, he grabbed one of the wet cloths on the side table and, as he wiped the streaks of blood off Lucius’ skin, pleaded, “Leelan, please stop!”
“No! I can do it. I promise!” Lucius cried.
Panicking at the damage his mate could be doing to himself, Brady quickly gathered Lucius in his arms, tucking his head against his chest. “Leelan, please…” Rubbing his cheek against his mate’s soft hair, he crooned words of love and hope to him, seeking to reassure Lucius everything would turn out just fine.
So focused was he on his goal, it took Lucius a moment to react to his mate’s caresses. Stunned at first when his mate hugged him, that feeling was quickly replaced with joy as he nestled against Brady, making him forget about any further attempt to move his legs. Inhaling deeply, he felt his soul settle, realizing he was home. Lucius sighed with a happiness so new to him now, yet so familiar from his time as a human.
Brady continued to hold Lucius, long after the tension had seeped from his body. Smiling to himself at finding out his mate was a cuddler. His own need for that closeness had led him to sleep with an oversized teddy bear, big enough to wrap his body around. But now, Mr. Edwards would be relegated to the chair in the corner of his bedroom—Lucius would be taking his place.
