When she looks over, it’s too dark to see her expression clearly, but her eyes might as well be a lit match, because her gaze captures mine. “You might tell the truth, but it’s rarely thewholetruth, and you know it.”
That stings like a dart.
Because she’s right.
I look back at the shadowed road and twitch the reins at the horses. Overhead, Igaa loops back and forth, occasionally crossing over the moon. She’s very high, and if I didn’t know any better, I wouldn’t give the creature a second glance. I have no idea what would happen if Xovaar headed back this way, and I doubt I want to find out.
As the horses trot on, I’m painfully aware of the tension between me and Callyn, and I have no idea how to undo it. There are so many more important things to worry about anyway.
But the tension is here and now, and despite everything, I want to fix it.
“I was raised at court,” I say to Callyn, and my voice is rough and low. “I know you’ve only been here for a few short months, but surely you’ve already discovered the backstabbing and doublespeak that’s part of living in the palace. Gossip is everywhere, and knowledge is often traded like an asset. In an environment like that,truthbecomes what you make it, not necessarily whatis.” I hesitate. “You’re right that I reveal information in a calculated way. But it’s . . . it’snot. . .” I break off and sigh.
She’s quiet, waiting, but I’m not sure how to proceed. She’s patient, however, and I eventually grimace. “I was going to say it’s not intentional, but that’s not precisely true. Even this conversation is evidence of it. You must understand that when you’ve been raised to balance and measure every word you speak, this kind of strategic discourse becomes as commonplace as breathing.” I glance over. “At court, any vulnerability is a weakness to be exploited. Any admission of truth becomes a weapon that can be used against you.” I shrug a little. “In my experience, it’s safer to be the weapon first.”
She frowns, but her eyes don’t leave the road. For the longest time, there’s only the sound of the hoofbeats clopping along the path.
When she finally looks over, her voice is as quiet as mine was. “I wish you’d talk to me like that more often.”
“Like what?”
“Like . . . a friend.” Her eyes are dark pools, gleaming in the moonlight. “Instead of an opponent.”
“Ah,” I say coolly. “Like afriend.” I twitch the reins again.
She shifts closer to me, and the warmth of her body presses into mine, all the way from knee to shoulder. Her hand falls on my knee, and I lose track of every thought in my head.
“Do it again,” she murmurs, and then she gives my knee a gentle squeeze.
My brain is completely fixated on the location of her hand, so I have no idea what action bears repeating. When she saysdo it again, every suggestion my brain offers involves a lot less clothing.
Then she says, “Talk to me,Lord Alek.”
I huff a breath that’s half laughter, half surprise. “What should I say,Lady Callyn?”
“Is that why you’re so close to the queen?” she says— and it’s not at all what I expect her to say, so it grabs my attention. “The way you were raised at court?”
I’m not sure what to say. “Her Majesty is . . . well. I— ah—”
Her hand squeezes my knee again. “It’s clear you’re closer than you let on.”
“Is it? How?”
“Because Queen Lia Mara trusts you. It’s the only reasonIkeep giving you second chances.”
I look over in surprise. “Does she?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” she says. “Look at where we are!”
Well. I suppose there’s that.
Callyn gives me a nudge with her shoulder. “So tell me.”
I think back to my childhood, remembering all the times I wished I could hide in the corner like the less- favored princess.
“Lia Mara always had a book in her hands,” I say. My words are slow, because I’ve never talked about this with anyone. It’s not a secret, because there was never anything between us, but this part of my youthfeelslike a secret. “She was always in the corners, in the shadows. Always left alone. Truly, I envied her. My mother kept pushing me at Nolla Verin, because it was clear that she was destined for the throne. If Mother hadn’t died in the war— and if Karis Luran had kept thethrone— I’m sure our union would’ve been seen as a rather strategic partnership. But it would’ve been rude to ignore Lia Mara, so I was allowed to cling to the shadows from time to time. By then, I’d learned the ways of life at court, so we could never be trulyclose. But we were companions, of a sort. We’d share books from time to time. She’d tell me about her favorite stories— and I’d share mine.”
For a moment, I’m lost in the memory, remembering how Lia Mara used to love the romance in her stories. One book was quite racy, and when I teased her about it, she smacked me on the knuckles with the spine— then blushed so red that her younger sister scurried over to ask what we were talking about.
