“Allright,” I snap, but his teasing breaks through my tension to make me smile.
He grins in response. Despite everything, I’m glad Malin is coming. He was able to keep any edge out of the air when we traveled with the king, so maybe he’ll be able to do the same thing when it comes to me and Jax.
Then Jax rides into the courtyard, and the sight of him steals every thought from my head.
I recognize the horse, because I remember the first night I introduced Jax to Teddy. He seemed so surprised— and a little intimidated— at the prospect of learning to ride. But now he sits in the saddle with a casual confidence, like he’s been riding all his life. I’m not used to seeing him armed, but he’s got a dagger on his hip, and a bow strung across his back, a quiver buckled to the saddle behind his thigh. He’s in armor, too, and it looks as new as mine: fresh black leather, gleaming silver buckles. No gold and red, because he’s not an Emberish soldier— but no green either. He wears it all well enough that anyone will think twice before starting trouble, especially since the gear broadens his frame, making him take up more space in the world than I remember.
It’s not just the weapons and armor, though. It’s . . . it’shim.
Beside me, Malin clears his throatverydeliberately.
The sound gives me a jolt, and I realize I was staring, my mouth hanging half- open. I jerk my head around to glare at Malin, and his grin widens.
If we were alone, I’d smile sheepishly in return, but Sephran is watching me, too, his expression almost glacial.
I grit my teeth, glad I can fall back on training and discipline. I wasn’t an officer in the Queen’s Army for long, but I’ve been at Grey’s side for years. I know how to keep emotion off my face and focus on the task at hand.
“We’ll head northwest toward Wildthorne Valley,” I say. I glance at the lightening sky. “We should make it to the river by dusk, and we’ll camp there.” I glance at Malin. “Captain, take point. Set the pace.” I shift my gaze to Leo. “Recruit, you’re outrider.”
Responding to my tone, Malin draws up his reins, and Leo salutes me again. Even Sephran has shifted his horse to follow the formation I’ve set. Any icy tension has disappeared from the air. They’re all soldiers, used to following orders regardless of what’s going on.
But Jax isn’t. He’s glancing between them, a small line appearing between his eyebrows.
I frown, realizing I gave the orders in Emberish, and despite the way he snapped at me in the forge, it’s clear he didn’t understandallof that.
“Do you need me to repeat it?” I say to him in Syssalah.
The instant I say it, I regret it. My voice was sharp, the words clipped like an order.
Jax’s eyes widen, and then his expression turns as cool as Sephran’ s— and likely as cool as mine.
“No,” he says, drawing up his own reins.
I inhale tightly, wanting to undo this. I didn’t mean for that to come out as a challenge, but I’m still too stirred up. But the others are alreadymoving away, obeying. In the absence of a direct order, I think Sephran might take flank, riding beside Malin, since they’re friends. Instead, he draws close to Jax as they ride out, and he’s speaking low. “Look,” he says, pointing ahead. “Malin— point. First.Leader.Yes?”
Jax is nodding, his expression easing as he puts the words together.
Sephran gestures toward the younger soldier, off to the side. “Leo— outrider. He . . . ah . . . rides out.” He sounds slightly abashed, but what strikes me is that his voice is so patient— and somewhat gentle. After his clipped tone with me, it takes me by surprise. He taps under his eye, then makes a circular gesture out in front of us. “Sentry?” he says to Jax, glancing over. “Lookout?”
Jax’s eyes light up with sudden comprehension. “Outrider.I understand.”
Seeing their easy rapport makes me realize this must be a common interaction for them, and my heart gives a tug. Doesn’t Jax know that I would’ve explained these things, too? I would’ve given him the words. I can also be patient and gentle.
But maybe I was gone too long. Maybe he’s forgotten.
Maybe I’ve picked too many fights. Maybe I’ve proven the exact opposite.
Ahead of us, Malin kicks his horse into a canter, following my order, setting the pace.
So I draw up Mercy’s reins to follow, realizing they’re about to leave me behind.
The sky is clear for miles as we canter across the fields of Emberfall. If nothing else, a scraver won’t be able to sneak up on us from the air. Malin’s been driving a hard pace, and I’m glad. We’re going too fast for much conversation, so I can lock all my complicated thoughts in my head and focus on the mission.
But Jax isright there, and it’s killing me. After the first hour, I call for a swap with Leo, taking outrider, just because Jax’s closeness is like riding too close to the sun. I’m so aware of his presence it’s almost painful.
But if I thought distance would help, I was wrong. I should be watching for trouble, but my eyes keep drifting back to the group, back tohim. He’s grown into a steady rider, his hands soft on the reins, such a difference from the way he used to gasp and clutch at the reins when I first put him on Mercy. Silhouetted in the distance, he could be just another soldier, identical to the rest of our group, but I can still see the tendrils of hair that the wind keeps tugging free, and his more casual bearing that separates him from the men with military training. My heart can pick him out every time I look over.
Do you need me to repeat it?
