“She isoverjoyedthat Grey is gone.”
“I won’t admit to feeling any great sorrow myself.” I glance at her. “His magic endangered you and all your people. We’ve already lost so much.”
To my surprise, her eyes well. “I know.”
Please don’t cry, I think, glancing at the guards stationed at a distance. People really do talk, and I’m shocked gossip aboutthishasn’t been burning tongues all over the city. It’s a testament to her staff that they’ve kept the full nature of the queen’s condition a bit quiet. But if she breaks down in sobs in the middle of the hallway, it’s definitely not going to give anyone the illusion ofcontrol.
Itsklightly. “Is it time for more cynical judgment?” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
She gives a little laugh through her tears. “Please.”
I reach out and give her sleeve a gentle tug. “Honestly. Who dressed you this morning? This drab frock certainly did not come out ofmyHouse.”
Her eyes flare wide, and then she whirls on me, her tears forgotten. “Alek!” she cries, swatting my arm in feigned outrage.
“I am simplysaying,” I intone, “that if you want to look like a pillar of strength, it might be best to find some fabrics with less . . .” I let my gaze skip up and down her form. “Lessthat.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“Thank you.”
“No wonder Callyn likes you.”
I nearly stumble in the hallway. She said it so lightly, but she might as well have punched me in the face.
Callyn,I think.Please be here.
Immediately after the words flicker through my thoughts, I want to punchmyselfin the face.
She needs to be gone, and the magic needs to be gone with her.
Despite all that, I keep thinking of that nightmare, how instead of showing me the damage Callyn couldcause, my brain kept showing me visions of a scraver ripping her apart. I’m not tormented by thoughts of her causing harm; I’m tormented by thoughts of harm coming toher. The longing in my heart isn’t calling for me to drive her away; it’s pushing me to ride to her rescue.
But I can’t, and it’s making me crazy.
Maybe I should be wearing a drab dress just like the queen.
“Alek?” Queen Lia Mara says, peering at me.
“You mentioned Callyn,” I say, trying to keep any emotion from my voice— though I failspectacularly. “Is she—” I have to clear my throat. “Is she still caring for Princess Sinna? I . . . I hadn’t thought to ask after her.”
I’m such a liar.
Worse, Isoundlike a liar.
The queen hesitates, and I know she can hear it. But she nods. “Callyn and her sister are doing a fine job keeping little Sinna busy.” She sighs heavily. “As you can imagine, she misses her father.”
Every word is as light as everything else she’s said, but inside, I’m reeling.
She’s still here.A burst of joy explodes in my heart.
But it’s immediately followed by dread. The same words flicker through my brain, this time shrouded with warning.
She’s still here.
As if she can read my thoughts, the queen looks over. “Why did you come to court this morning, Alek?”
I think through every possible answer, and eventually settle on the most honest one. “Because I was worried about you.”
