“What?” I say flatly.
“He was going to kill those children, Asher.” Her voice is so soft. “He wants thisallianceand he wants to protect hispeopleand he wants to make thingsright. I believe all of that. I’ve seen the kindness inside of him.”
So have I. I think of the king breaking his bread in half—or telling one of his soldiers to make sure Lady Charlotte had enough silver to buy that woman’s freedom.
Jory continues, “But he didn’t tell those settlers who he was—and this is why! When his people approached him, he was ready to kill them! He gave the order—”
“I was there.” I randomly pull trousers and a tunic from the closet.
“How could he?” she demands. “How could he, Asher? Is that why the rumors are so terrible? Is that why everyone is so afraid—”
“Jory.” I toss the clothes on the bed and turn to face her. “He didn’t see children.”
“How could he not see children? They were right—”
“He saw attackers. He saw enemies. He saw athreat.”
She falls silent and stares at me.
I take a step closer to her, and I reach out to take her hand. Then I press her palm to the center of my chest. Even with me controlling the action, there’s a moment where I go still, where my heart stutters, begging me to recoil.
She must see a flicker of it in my expression, because I can see the response in hers. It’s something akin to pity, and I hate it. But I need her to understand.
“You felt that?” I say softly.
She bites her lip, uncertain now. “Yes.”
“The slavers broke me, Jory. Over and over again, until my body learned that if someone touched me, something bad was coming.”
“Asher.” She frowns a little. “You’re not broken—”
“Oh, I am. It changed something in here...” I put my hand over hers, tapping over my heart. “And it changed something in my head. So now, even when it’s someone I trust, even when it’s someone Ilove, I still feel it.”
As I say the heavy words, I’m surprised to realize they’re notentirelytrue. At some point, I stopped wanting to recoil whenKytouches me.
That’s too complicated to examine. Especially when Jory’s hand is so heavy against my chest.
“He’s broken, too,” I say. I think of his nightmare in the inn, the way his eyes were dark and full of shadows. When that boy crashed through the door with an armload of firewood, he was out of his seat, ready for an attack. When the Draeg soldier stumbled out of that hut behind Jory, I thought he might call fire and level the entire encampment. “He’s just broken in a different way.”
“How?” she whispers. “He’s not like you.”
“Not by slavers. Bywar. He’s learned to see a threat—and kill it. Because the alternative is that it would kill him first. Or worse, his soldiers. You’ve seen how deeply he cares for them. Who knows how many he’s seen die?”
I watch emotions pass through her eyes as she works that through. “Is that why you told me to leave him be?”
“Yes.”
“How did you know?”
I give her a look. “Because a lot of broken soldiers visit brothels, Jor.”
Her expression twists like she thinks I’m teasing—but then she must realize I’m not. “Oh,” she says softly. “I don’t know what to do with this.”
“I certainly can’t solve it. But I don’t think he meant to slaughter children. I think he’s a man who wasattackedand responded in kind. They didn’t just come at him with grievances. They weren’t unarmed. One of those mendiddraw a weapon.”
“But he didn’t see thechildren.”
“Butyoudid, and you stopped the fight. And when you called for his men to disarm, the king listened toyou.It’s not the first time, either.” I kiss her on the forehead. “Seems like a powerful alliance, Your Highness.”
