“Because I’m not the boy you remember.” His eyes open, dark and intent and fixed on mine. “And you’re about to marry another man.”
Tears spring to my eyes, hot and sudden.
Asher strokes a thumb across my cheek. “Hush, lovely. No tears. We knew this day would come.” He nods at the pillow. “Roll over again. Let me hold you.”
Lovely.He’s never called me that before. Warmth swells in my chest again, but it’s a request I can’t refuse, because I’m worried he reallywillleave. When I roll over, those tears slip down my cheek to land on my pillow. But I’m rewarded by his arm coming around my waist again. This time I clutch my hand over his, and it’s my bare skin against his own.
His arm is tense, but he settles behind me, his warm breath easing along my neck again. It’s so sweet and so comforting—and a reminder of everything I’ll never have. My heart wants to mourn and rejoice at the same time. I’ve always wanted to be withhim—but Asher is right. Our paths have always been destined to divide. Maybe I’ve simply been fooling myself all this time.
“Dane says he negotiated for how many times the king is allowed to bed me,” I say.
Asher snorts. “I overheard that part, too.”
I consider how his life outside the palace always makes him seem so much more worldly, and I wonder again whether other women have caught his eye. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Do you know if it’ll hurt?” I say, and my voice is very low, very quiet.
He goes absolutely silent, as if he’s startled by the question.
I twist to look at him. “I’m sorry to be so bold.”
For a moment, I think he’ll tease again, but his eyes stay serious. “You’re not being too bold,” he says softly.
I swallow. “Do you know?”
“It shouldn’t hurt.” He pauses. “Not if it’s done right.”
That makes me go warm again. But I’m imagininghimnow, not the man who’s going to drag me away to Incendar.
Asher is so still behind me. “Never, Jor?”
I turn away and shake my head against the bedclothes. My cheeks are growing hot. Of coursenever. I’m never alone, never unguarded, never unchaperoned.
Except for now.
I twist to peer back at him. “Haveyoubeen with many women?” He hesitates, so I flush immediately, turning away. “Don’t answer that.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, and then his voice is low against my hair. “I don’t want to be indelicate.”
I flush deeper. I’m such a fool. That probably means he’s been with dozens of women.
Well, of course he has. I have eyes.
But he won’t letmetouch him.
Is that just because I’ve always been destined to wed someone else? I don’t know. I don’t know if I want the answer.
Especially since he’s touching me now. He breathes against me, and I relax into his warmth.
After an eternity, a new thought occurs to me.
“What if he hurts me?” I whisper. This time there’s no keeping the fear out of my voice.
At my back, Asher goes still, and I feel the tension in every muscle of his body as he reacts to the question. “You’ll meet him tomorrow. Be brave, be strong, and be smart.” He pauses, and a dark note enters his voice. “And if you need me, send word.”
“How?” I whisper, and my voice shakes. “I’ll be alone.”
